If I could put time in a walrus

  1. NO: AN INTRODUCTION: the Exploding Aardvark shares her “NO” tag.
  2. My del.icio.us stuff tagged “NO” has some links in common, because the ‘vark and I share an esthetic of “no.”
  3. And then, there’s my LJ stuff tagged “no.”

I spent most of the day in a shitty state of mind but had a nice long coffee talk with becauseshewas at which dawn_michele unexpectedly showed too. Good blather was had.

Want to know what keeps me hanging on? Chili pepper, that’s what. Specifically, hot sauce made from my own chili paste which in turn was made from chipotles, chiles de arbol, ancho chiles, salt, and vinegar.

Maybe I should take a jar of the stuff to therapy tomorrow and hand it to Carol and say: physician, spice thyself.

I appear to have at least temporarily lost all interest in cars. How’d that happen?

spinach chain letter stupidity kills

I got a chain letter which I will not reproduce here about how the spinach is just fine and it’s a big conspiracy and no one is really getting sick from the spinach and it’s the evil spinach-hating anti-raw-food forces spreading the lies about the virtuous spinach because “they” don’t want you to eat nice raw healthy spinach and live forever.

It was sent from a local raw food place which may well make very nice food themselves but will never get a goddamn dime from me after seeing this. Thanks for the dangerous tinfoil hat bullshit, goodmoodcafe.com

Please don’t forward crap like this. It’s not “just another side to the story.” It’s deadly paranoid garbage.

It’s bad enough that this country is trashing its public health infrastructure and letting Big Agriculture “regulate” itself. Let’s not make things worse. Hundreds of underpaid and underappreciated scientists and public health experts are working 24 hours a day to trace the source of this and every other food-borne disease outbreak and save lives. Calling them liars is nasty and irresponsible.

There is no anti-spinach conspiracy. If you want safer food, pay attention to things like this and why they happen. Super E. Coli bacteria exist because of brain-dead factory farming, and they get into the food because big food corporations wrote the laws that say they can wipe their asses on your food if they feel like it.

There’s your conspiracy and it’s right out in the open.

Welcome, Jemifer.

I have received this communication from “Jemifer” or “Jenifer” (spelled both ways) on myspace. It looks like Jem (Jen) has had a whole lot of coffee, because this all obviously came out in a rush. It’s rare for someone in a calm state of mind to misspell her own name. There’s a lot to chew on here, and I will have to consider my response to her very carefully. Clearly she’s a passionate person and a serious thinker, and someone who is thinking outside of her box.

I have met “net-friends” many times but haven’t had her experience of feeling nervous, or wondering what they’ll look like in person. And I did let go of my expectations years ago, about damn near anything. But she’s probably a lot younger.

She does bring up a good point about dishonesty, particularly where size is concerned. I have a refined and quite serious fetish that requires my girlfriends to be at least three meters tall and not less than 20 cm in diameter, and I can’t tell you how many times some hopeful bachelorette has insisted that she meets these requirements only to disappoint — INSTANTLY — on first meeting.

I’m not sure what Jem/Jen asks of me, or any of us really. The call to adventure is clear, and she’s an encouraging person with a touching faith in the victory of love over the petty barriers of distance, appearance, and language. However, the language itself becomes a problem and it’s hard to say how we should respond to her.

Anyway I’m at a loss. Maybe one of you can help her out, or at least find out how she spells her name.

Hello am Jemifer……………
In meeting net-friends for the first time, just remember that they are probably as nervous as you are! Its always a shock for me to finally SEE someone Ive known “o nline” for ages, but it will pass quickly.
Let go of your expectations – the expectation that i will like you (and the corresponding fear that i wont), and the expectation that you will like me (and the fear that you wont). The beauty of the net is that there are no looks, no accents, no physical barriers to filter through….
Just the essence of ones soul. You look on the net for women that would bring out the beauty of their hearts, and yet you bring in the same expectations that might have caused you to fail in finding a mate in the real world. If women lie to you about their size and their looks, then that is because you expect them to lie to you. If you could see my inner beauty without tainting it with your physical expectations, you would be amazed at how many Gems you could find on the net.
On the NET, you have the chance to behold the beauty of ones spirit.
Accept people for who they are, and stop expecting them to be who you want them to be, and you would be surprised how many beauties will break your doors down. Try it, and you will have the same success both on the net, and on the real world.So cyber relationships that turns into real time relationships can and do work.If you go into it with the right attitude then you wont be disappointed. For me, look s didnt matter. I fell in love with the way person opened up to me.
sweetie.
And if u care for a private chat also u want to know more about me u can contact me with this e-mail address
jenifernxtblock4u@yahoo.com….hope to hear from u soon……….

Jenifer…..

Chop wood, carry water, stem chipotles, seed anchos

If you’re looking for a mindfulness exercise, I recommend working with dried chili peppers.

Food preparation is the closest I come to meditative exercise anyway. Preparing the chiles means removing the stems and seeds manually, which requires attention to detail. It’s absorbing and keeps me in the moment. And if I lose my mindful presence with the task, I’ll inevitably touch my eye or nose or some tender spot with a hand covered in dust and seeds from very hot peppers. This is as good as a Zen monk hitting me in the face with a stick. Instantly, I am back in the moment.

Mindfulness, focus, attention, process, an absence of distraction, and finally: chili paste. So even if I am not a step closer to enlightenment, the next few dinners are greatly improved.

Windbag alert and attention conservation notice

I have developed a manifesto-sized idea and am about to blog it out. You have been warned. Long essays making a large cultural point can’t be sold and published conventionally unless the author is a respected and eminent intellectual or a rock ‘n’ roll star. Those who can, do; those who aren’t, blog.

This may fizzle or may be several essays; I’m not sure where I’m going to pinch off the blog yet. Because of TL;DR in this post-literate medium I present some bullet points below for those who aren’t going to plow through the thing.

  • Irony is worse than dead, it’s suicidal.
  • Stop celebrating bad art, bad food, and evil. There’s a place for enjoying things that are so bad they’re good. It isn’t the place called “the entire culture.” Giving up on quality of any kind has more serious consequences than we might think.
  • Phony postmodernism kills. Take the risk of being well-meaning and sincere. A couple of poorly understood Cultural Studies classes does not confer the privilege of detached Godhood.
  • Permanent adolescence is no improvement over permanent childhood. Living our lives fully and meaningfully is a duty to others and not just to ourselves.
  • Subcultures, fandoms, and gaming worlds are eating a generation of privileged and educated people alive when we could and should be doing well and doing good. Come out of the couch fort and live.
  • Cheap fatalism is a crime of privilege. Admitting defeat in advance hurts many, many people less fortunate than we are before it touches us.

I freely admit in advance that I will be didactic, pretentious, and annoyingly prescriptive. It’s likely that I’ll also be irrelevant and that I will make a fool of myself. I have no formal training in philosophy or sociology and will probably reinvent various wheels poorly.

But sometimes an idea just arrives and possesses me. This one has sat on me for years, and is at the root of a troublesome fiction project that won’t budge. Tormenting my small audience with an unsaleable vanity-press think piece is the best I can do with it right now.

Further material in this series will be tagged “ironyproject.”

Good bye Diedrich

Diedrich Coffee gives up fight
Local chain sells 47 retail outlets to Starbucks for $13.5 million to focus on wholesale bean business.

The Orange County Register

Irvine-based Diedrich Coffee, conceding defeat in the coffee shop duel with Starbucks, agreed to sell the 47 stores it owns to its Seattle rival for $13.5 million.

The local company will remain in business as a roaster and wholesaler of coffee beans. The sale includes all company-owned Diedrich and Coffee People locations. Franchise stores aren’t included in the sale.

All “non-management employees in good standing” will be offered positions with Starbucks, and managers will be provided the opportunity to interview for positions, the company said.

Here’s the company’s statement:

blabla