Why nobody ever reports anything to anyone, anywhere

If you’re a consumer, in which category I include ordinary members of organizations, citizens, enlisted men in the service etc., there is no point in telling the organization about a problem.

Try telling the call center at your telephone company about a problem with the phone’s software. Try telling the sad vest-wearing people at the megastore that the paint cans are all leaking. Experiment by pointing out a hugely embarrassing typo in the ads for your bank. It’s almost always pointless. Some combination of corporate hostility, personal resentment from the underling you encounter, “policies,” and the complete inability of “first line customer service” to communicate with functional parts of the organization occurs.

There are exceptions. 911, for example; they’re always glad to hear about an oil slick on the freeway or the smell of natural gas, or even the leaky paint can. Individuals who run small stores or one-person open source software projects are generally grateful and responsive to help. Journalists, when you contact them directly, like to fix errors and typos.

My example today is LJ. Once, there was a community of some kind for reporting problems, followed by a bugzilla installation, followed now by an RT installation. RT is a great piece of software. I reported on Sept. 22 that a good chunk of my comment emails were blank. No one took the bug and there were no replies; the problem continued. On november 30 someone categorized the bug but did not take it or assign it. Today I added some helpful information. It’s dead. A useful and necessary feature is totally broken, but submitting this information as an ordinary user is totally pointless.

I wonder what the minimum size is for an organization so that consumers are sealed off from any attempt to provide useful feedback from the bottom up? With big companies it appears to be a point of pride now that the call center droids and email answerers are forbidden to communicate with anyone. And even with a well-intentioned application of bug tracking software, it’s just ennui reporting anything.

But what about the Kottonmouth Kings?

I get the best anon comments. Today’s reader mail:

ok ICP N juggalo$ iN geNeral r the oNly ppl with ballz enough 2 $ay wat they have 2 $ay. N they aiNt a baNd! N if they r $o bad theN they wouldNt have made $o much fukiN mmoNey N they got famou$ from lo$erz like u who bad mouth them $o go ahead keep talkiN yo $hit cuz thatz wat makez them famou$. but u $hould really li$teN to their mu$ic b4 u talk $hit ok. thanx MMFCL haha

From this post: http://substitute.livejournal.com/446376.html?style=mine

ITEMS.

  1. This is me at 80, I hope: Young@Heart does Sonic Youth. Wow. Courtesy la_lisa They also do a fairly amazing “Fix You” by Coldplay, and I don’t even like Coldplay.

    Young@Heart’s website is at http://www.youngatheartchorus.com/. They also have a myspace page like everyone else in music. edit: url fixed thanks to salome_st_john

  2. Speaking of music, in my dream last night a country band did a fine version of Motorhead’s “Ace of Spades” and now it’s stuck in my head. How did I get an earworm of something that doesn’t exist? It’s like trinnit‘s description of hell: being deaf and having the Super Mario theme in your head.
  3. I’d like to wish everyone a happy Listmas! This is the very special time of year when journalists of all kinds, but especially entertainment writers, turn in lists instead of articles and go on vacation. Two representative examples are Pitchfork’s Top 50 Albums and Rolling Stone’s equivalent. I suggest throwing out publications during December. Also, you’re reading one now. Ha!
  4. I’m having a blissfully stress-free “holiday season” because I followed Stimps’ Best Advice Ever: don’t watch TV. That’s where all the bad messages come from. If you don’t watch the television, the “season” is just some good food and maybe giving someone a book you think they’d enjoy.
  5. Pescadou is doing up New Year’s really well. I think my mom and I are going to go to the earlier and cheaper seating of their prix fixe, which is $52 a person for three courses. Any one else interested? It’s a 6 pm ish thing. Their second seating is later and $80 for five courses and that’s too much money and food for me.
  6. The Rules of Engagement have been expanded to cover destruction on sight of SUVs with wreaths on the front. Please make a note of it.

Wouldn’t have had much fun in Stalingrad

vanmojo alerted me to something very special about this year’s Rose Parade. For those outside the US, the Rose Parade is a huge New Year’s Day event connected with the Rose Bowl college football game. Corporations make giant floats, high school bands march, and it goes on forever.

Because 2007 will be the 30th anniversary of Star Wars, George Lucas will be the grand marshal. And also because of this, the 501st Legion will be marching in the parade.

charity stormtroopersHaving a lot of Star Wars stuff in the parade sounds cool. Maybe some of the actors from the original movie, or a bunch of wookies. But no. This will be a large gathering of the Imperial Stormtroopers marching by in review.

The 501st has a long and hilarious history of charity appearances, each of which is more like an Onion article than the others. And they’re just costumed nerds, I know.

So I guess it’s perfectly fine to have the brutal, oppressive cannon fodder minions of the dark Empire marching proudly in our parade. You know, the ones who kill and burn Luke’s family at the beginning of the original movie. And it’s totally cool also to have a group named after the Nazi murderers who slaughtered millions of innocents in a horrific war of aggression, carrying out the most notorious genocide in the history of mankind. In fact, it should be awesome!

No wait, it’s that other thing: shockingly ignorant and offensive!

Someone please tell me this is a long drawn-out prank by Mel Brooks. Please.

Edit:Lucas’ extensive ripoffs from The Triumph of the Will just aren’t helping here either. Pasadena is the new Nuremberg.