This just in from Dover Motor Speedway and VISA to my email inbox:
Cup Race at Dover to be named the “Autism Speaks 400 presented by Visa”
Gosh, the Asburgers at this stadium are delicious. And with the choice, convenience, acceptance, and security of VISA I could make them happen!
I’m getting the botulism shot into my neck and shoulder today at 11:45.
Instead of having Allergan and my insurance company approve everything I’m just going to bring this swelled-up can of oysters.
Actually. when the doctor’s office called me this morning she said that it turns out for this diagnosis no preapproval is needed. So the whole second half of this nightmare was unnecessary. She boggled at this because of the number of units of poison needed; it’s a first time for that.
So wish me luck. I’m getting a few $900 injections today that may or may not give me back my God-damned arm.
1. Do not describe produce as brown. There is a huge library of Lands’ End colors for this exact purpose. The tomatoes themselves look fine. You could get away with calling them russet, or golden, or even tawny. Start over. Also: ew.
2. This is a university. It is, in fact, a university with a huge Asian and Asian-American presence. And this university is in a city with a large Chinese-American population; they’re a dominant presence. Using ching-chong-chinaman “Confucius Say” jokes on a package of fortune cookies isn’t just stupid or insensitive. It’s suicidal.
I WONDER WHAT THE FUCK THE REAL DIALOGUE IS? Well here’s some more. The good people at the Found Footage Festival have a second DVD out, and here’s a sample. Winnebago Man himself, Mr. Jack Rebney, with a new set of outtakes. Enjoy it in good health, with the ferns and the docks.
A shitty doctor who gave me bad medical care 17 years ago is now up on FORTY SEVEN FELONY COUNTS for doing, well, what he did to me: overcharging and charging for nonexistent services.
Odd that I reported him back then and only now is the bastard on the hook. You don’t forget a name like “Mario Rosenberg.” (He’s an Argentine.)
The guy literally stuck something up my ass and then overcharged me for it. I recall telling my next doctor the story and he said “Mario did that?” Yeah, and Luigi helped.
Mom gets junk mail with message on the outside: “FREE PREPAID CREMATION! DETAILS INSIDE.”
Her: “I can’t wait to find out how this deal works!”
Me: “For chrissakes don’t open that envelope until you’re ready to be cremated!”
It’s not just that they insisted on violating the law and the Constitution. It’s not just that they tried to pressure the Attorney General to approve it when he had already refused. And it’s not just that they did it while he was ill and not acting as Attorney General.
They did it at night in his hospital room, causing the acting Attorney General and the director of the F.B.I. to go lights-and-siren through the nation’s capital and run upstairs to the hospital room and stop them.
And then tried to refuse a witness to the discussion afterwards.
And then, after Ashcroft had walked over the whole deal, they got what they wanted anyway because Gonzo got the job.
How close are we to a coup, anyway? Who’s got five bucks on it?
Reference: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/15/washington/15cnd-attorneys.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin
http://www.rhinohandmade.com/browse/ProductLink.lasso?Number=7729
Proof Through the Night and the complete Trap Door records, no doubt with Handmade’s usual quality. Two discs. Mmmm.
I’ve been hitting the bubbly pretty hard. Got a case of it, 15 bottles, on Friday. Only three left.
The bubbly in this case is San Pellegrino.
I have a tremendous affection to this stuff (aiiee, brand loyalty) because I had so much of it in Italy as a kid. It’s probably no better or worse than any fizzly water.
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