whatever with that other rich criminal

I’d like to point out that Generalissimo Greg Haidl is Still in Prison.

Where he belongs. Because sometimes, even in Orange County, even when you’re rich as hell, even when your dad is an Assistant Sheriff, even when the Sheriff himself is a corrupt sonofa bitch and the D.A. is in his pocket, even when the arresting department is the Newport Beach P.D., even when you hire the nastiest legal team and private investigators and slime your victim, even when you plead mental illness and exhaustion, SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO GO TO JAIL FOR RAPING A DRUGGED FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL WITH FOREIGN OBJECTS AND VIDEOTAPING IT.

Score one for Hattie Carroll.

HAZARDOUS ELK

I heard a Canadian Tourism Ad on the radio in my car yesterday. The ad tried to put me in a sound picture in which I was on an amazing golf course playing the game of my life while sweet birds sang etc and an elk walked on to the course. And the tag was something like “and you don’t mind an interruption in your game, because an ELK IS ON THE COURSE!” Followed by the call your travel agent spiel.

I’m not sure what your reaction might be, but were I on a golf course and an elk appeared, I would run like hell. Who wants to get kicked to death? Is there a baby elk over there? Wow these things are pretty fast OH GOD THE ANTLERS

There was another ad right afterwards in which I was instructed to picture myself paddling a kayak or canoe on Lake Louise having a peak experience. That didn’t sound so bad except for the Implied Insects, which are universal in traveling anyhow.

But no elk for me, please.

Physics poetry

  1. There is no force, however great
    To pull a wire, however fine
    Into a horizontal line
    That shall be absolutely straight

    — Unknown

  2. Stone walls do not a prism make
    They’re better made of glass
    If you had studied Science
    You would not be such an ass

    — My father