Film Noir, Newport Beach Style

The Orange County Weekly has the best comment on the Mike Carona Indictment Fest, in the form of a photo: http://blogs.ocweekly.com/navelgazing/crime-sex/oc-sheriff-carona-indicted-for/

Carona probably would have got away with lots more graft, incompetence, and poorly chosen drinking buddies if he hadn’t tried to help out an old buddy with a small case of videotaped underage gang rape. People get fussy.

Their Sheriff Carona Corruption Archive and Haidl Rape Case Archive are worth a browse for fans of Chandleresque corruption.

I hope the new regime at the Weekly doesn’t muzzle or drive out Moxley. Without him there wouldn’t be investigative journalism of any use in this county.

Tuesday’s Children

I met with Bob at Kean today so I could order a new automatic clutch for his Whizzer. (No, really!)

The patio was packed with moms and babies because the new expensive baby food store was having a grand opening Halloween event.

“Expensive baby food store” falls short of the mark. “Pomme Bébé” looks at first to be a high-end salon, art gallery, and Apple Store in one spot. Whiteness gleams tastefully. Sheer ivory surfaces, smock-clad employees, menu of the day in the style of an ice cream store. They sell organic and otherwise perfect food for infants.

So as Bob and I ordered bike parts on the Internet and bullshitted and played with his dog Mancha, this river of super-rich mothers flowed. They were all 20 and perfect forever, and their babies were all 6 months old and perfect forever. The baby carriages themselves were worth more than my car. They stretch across the sidewalk and have racks and racks of toys clacking above their passengers. More than a few were double wides with twin skulls bobbling in them.

Mancha slumped on our feet in a heavily adoring way and we skritched him. My iced tea was good.

Hello, Jeanketeers!

The Orange County Register has apparently hired Jean Teasdale to write their nightlife reviews. In this case it’s a real win because the article is about my “favorite” restaurant:

Maybe I’m not hip enough to be at Chronic Cantina. I’ll just throw that out there right now.

I may be the only person that’s gone there not knowing why they call it the Chronic Cantina. Did the section of the menu titled “Munchies” tip me off? No. Did the food with names like “Fatty Tacos” and “Pack Your Tostada Salad Bowl” give me a hint? No.

It was only when I took a look at the drink list and saw the 4:20 Brownie Shot that I got what Chronic Cantina is alluding to.

O FER CRISSAKES JEAN

The war, via the Huntington Beach California Police Blotter

Waverider Circle, non-emergency. A man reported that he “doesn’t have an emergency, however he may have one soon.” The caller was a soldier who said he had just returned from Iraq to find that his wife was at another man’s residence. A dispatcher advised the man “to stop if he felt he was going to commit a crime.” The man said he would drive somewhere and “cool off,” 2:16 p.m.

Neely Circle, 4800 block, burglary in progress. A woman reported someone was trying to break into her apartment. While several police units prepared to respond, including the department’s helicopter, the woman said the man could be her husband. The woman turned out to be the wife of the soldier from the earlier call. The soldier had followed his wife to her new boyfriend’s apartment after he learned she didn’t want to be married to him anymore. The soldier had “scaled the balcony railing to see what his estranged wife was doing” and “was shaking the sliding door violently,” 2:57 p.m.

Attention prospective installers of new Mac OS X Leopard:

“Apple, having allowed this shipment to slip six months already, has had to get Leopard out the door before the end of October by hook or by crook. You may reasonably conclude that this cake is probably not entirely baked. As with Tiger, an early software update (10.5.1) will likely be needed to correct a multitude of issues. Until then, consider yourself a beta tester.” — Maxfixit

More here: http://www.macfixit.com/article.php?story=20071026082852658

WHAT KIND OF SYRUP

Caption of the day and/or News QOTD of the day from the Orange County Register:

“Craig Gross, founder of XXX Church.com, next to a stack of “Jesus loves a porn star” Bibles that his staff handed out at the AVN Adult Expo in Los Vegas in January. This weekend, Gross is coming to Huntington Beach for one of the organization’s signature events: Porn and Pancakes.”

At least they have pancakes.