Category: Uncategorized

DRAIN EMPTIES INTO BAY: DO NOT DUMP LAMERS

ignatz: the Black Gate slowly creaks open to reveal: http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/
ignatz: “hipster runoff” is the stuff they tell you not to put in the drains, because of the wildlife
zebulon_y: yes
zebulon_y: it makes local fauna boring and longwinded and stupid
ignatz: and they ask their parents for money and their parents are just fish and it’s all bad
zebulon_y: so they go get a fintoo
zebulon_y: some piercings
zebulon_y: and then are eaten by a predator attracted to the sparkle
zebulon_y: that’s actually the strategy of one of those crazy brain-controlling parasites
zebulon_y: larval stage in fish, releases brane chemicals that makes the fish swim upside down and crazy
zebulon_y: white bellies attract birds who eat them and parasite matures and spawns in bird
ignatz: That would explain a lot of indie rock
zebulon_y: so anyway if we could just tune that parasite to hipsters, yeah
ignatz: poseurplasmosis hottopicii
zebulon_y: more specifically the blogosphere
ignatz: Nothing sadder than a grouper with Guyliner

shirt and bumpersticker not big enough

M*A*S*H

Maybe it could be a series of billboards and skywriters, or sound trucks blaring, or a daily TV spot, but it’s necessary. People in my country are arguing about the most ridiculous things right now — particularly in an election year, but just generally — and while we all have this big food fight there’s a ghost at the party.

It’s the war. Nothing comes before stopping it. Please remember that.

Talking Points Update: PLEASE READ!!!

Team,

As we approach the election, it’s time once again to close up ranks and keep on message. In this sound-bite environment it’s essential that all of us stay on the same page. With that in mind, here are the key talking points we’re stressing:

  • Pork barrel earmark set-aside entitlements for unregistered Hoosiers
  • Terrorist infiltration of full-service hardware stores
  • Offshore polygamous slush funds
  • The ague and the grippe: how can government help?
  • “Critical Mass” bicycle demonstrations funded by shadowy Romanian billionaire
  • Slurpee dilution: where is the enforcement? Where are the regulators?
  • Outrage fatigue fatigue
  • Stop-loss orders for sous-chefs.

I know it’s hard to keep your head in this turbulent atmosphere but we need to hit these points and hit them hard, together. Thanks in advance!