Talking Points Update: PLEASE READ!!!

Team,

As we approach the election, it’s time once again to close up ranks and keep on message. In this sound-bite environment it’s essential that all of us stay on the same page. With that in mind, here are the key talking points we’re stressing:

  • Pork barrel earmark set-aside entitlements for unregistered Hoosiers
  • Terrorist infiltration of full-service hardware stores
  • Offshore polygamous slush funds
  • The ague and the grippe: how can government help?
  • “Critical Mass” bicycle demonstrations funded by shadowy Romanian billionaire
  • Slurpee dilution: where is the enforcement? Where are the regulators?
  • Outrage fatigue fatigue
  • Stop-loss orders for sous-chefs.

I know it’s hard to keep your head in this turbulent atmosphere but we need to hit these points and hit them hard, together. Thanks in advance!

7 thoughts on “Talking Points Update: PLEASE READ!!!

  1. And now for the public radio version!
    Talking Points Update: PLEASE READ!!!
    Comrades,
    As we approach the election, it’s time once again to close up ranks and keep on message. In this sound-bite environment it’s essential that all of us stay on the same page. With that in mind, here are the key talking points we’re stressing:
    Pork barrel earmark set-aside entitlements for unregistered Hoosiers in Chicago’s black community
    Terrorist infiltration of full-service hardware stores in the black community
    Offshore polygamous slush funds and their impact on Los Angeles’ Hispanic community
    The ague and the grippe: two African-American scourges. How can government help?
    “Critical Mass” bicycle demonstrations funded by shadowy Romanian billionaire
    Slurpee dilution in South Los Angeles: where is the enforcement? Where are the regulators?
    Outrage fatigue fatigue in Koreatown
    Stop-loss orders for sous-chefs in the black community
    I know it’s hard to keep your head in this turbulent atmosphere but we need to hit these points and hit them hard, together. Thanks in advance!

      1. I am sorry, but us corporate monkey type people have trouble with talking points like yours, because they use big words. I mean a word like infiltration has like 4 or 5 syllables alone.
        Could you please dummy down your message for me?

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