odradak, limbsforcash, and all you other designy people take note of this fab little LJ artist’s colony:

http://www.diepunyhumans.com/archives/006912.html

It says something about me that I found the apostrophe error in this magazine cover, doesn’t it?

I realized who he is now. He’s been bad, he’s been famous, and now he’s just rentable. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you: The new Dick Clark.

I await the New Year’s Shizzlin Eve in 2030 (thanks for that one, Zeb.)

torgo_x has an excellent Modest Proposal for what to do about ‘Net bozos:

http://www.interglacial.com/~sburke/stuff/davey_winer.html

It’s SPF for assholes!

Clerk 1: Yeah, I always had a bad self esteem thing going on, you know, with my looks.
Clerk 2: So with the chicks or whatever.
Clerk 1: Yeah. My brother always had some incredibly hot girl, he got this string of hotties. I mean, the girls you know, that I was with were always okay looking!
Clerk 2: Sure, like okay girls
Clerk 1: Yeah. But he had trophy after trophy.
Clerk 2: That would be cool.
Clerk 1: Hahaha, yes. Anyway, I never could wear shorts.

A comment just made on irc:

Halfjack: My friend is an archaeologist who also teaches classics. Last time he was in the US he was chatting with a young man on the bus and when he mentioned he was an archaeologist the young man became very excited that he was some kind of scientist and demanded to know about the current progress on flying skateboards.

zebulon_y and I, up too late, conjured up a series of restaurants, including:

Welcome to Darwin!
[abe:~] ignatz% vi restaurants

Club CJD: A Beefery
Country Splaws Bulimia Buffet
Pro-Ana Rice Cakehouse and Vomitorium
Livejournal’s: A Mopery
Ackbar’s, where Dining is a Trap!
Captain Tubgirl’s Catch (All-You-Can-Fill-Buckets)
TGI Plushie’s
Goatse’s: Steaks, Spirits, and omg wtf
Furdango: A Bar for Yiffers
La Vaca Loca Tacos al Carbon de los Priones Grandes
Chuck E. Chigger’s Parasitorium and Fluke Bar

and my old favorite:
Smokey McDander’s Old Tyme Allergye Bar

Honest Persons Needed!
Are you blessed with a new child yet unable to attend work?
Are you a college student with odd class schedules impairing regular work time?
Well you’re in luck!
We are looking for honest and communicative people to sort, store, and make readily available our delivered correspondence from your own home!

We are software company from Urkaine. Our company develop different all-purpose software.I think you know that my country was a member of Soviet Union for a long period of time. That’s why the economical situation is rather hard in it. Today I’m and my partners are on a small budget cause of a small amount of clients.
So, we are looking for partners in the USA and Europe to have more clients.
Everybody knows Ukraine is a part of Europe, but most of foreign people are afraid to have business with country. They think people don’t use modern technologies here. We would like to prove our respectableness, but when we communicate with people from other countries they can’t avoid stereotypes.
So, we are looking for the persons who can represent our company in his country.
Their duty will be to accept money only. because often people don’t want to send money to my country. We will advertise our products ourselves using the Internet and of course the support of our common clients will be our duty. This is a permanent job for energetic persons. They will get % of each contract.
This is a business requiring only limited amounts of your time. Spaces are limited so act now for this great intuitive job offer.

For many reasons, but particularly for the “car dildo” shot.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/flamehaireddame/127909.html

Eggs carry anti-teen prostitution message

Kevin Dougherty
The Gazette

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

QUEBEC CITY A Quebec City-area egg marketing company has joined the crusade against teen prostitution.

Acting on a recommendation by his 16-year-old daughter, Daniel Lavoie, director general of Ovale-brand eggs, has added an anti-teen prostitution message to his company’s 18-egg family pack.

Ovale, which supplies one in three supermarkets in Quebec, has stamped the words.” Prostitution juvénile” on 700,000 egg cartons. Over the words is superimposed a red oval with a diagonal red line through it.

Lavoie’s daughter told her father she knows a girl who was entangled in a teen prostitution ring, suggesting the egg-carton message so families would talk about the issue.

“It is a very, very hot issue here,” Lavoie said, referring to the highly-publicized arrest of pimps and customers of teen prostitutes that has been the talk of the town for more than a year.

“I thought it was a good idea,” Lavoie.