Category: Uncategorized

san francisco

Good slice of pizza washed down with big Sapporo. Guy at liquor store was friendly. Neighborhood lousy with art students. Turn on the hotel TV: first thing I see is a hippie playing a nose flute, backed by a guy on bongos.

Tomorrow: a visit to Aquarius Records, I think. Then Go4. Yay.

Also there was a billboard for an anti-spyware software I’ve never heard of

Hi. I’m in San Francisco. Fairly uneventful 6.5 hours on the road. Lots of hot rods out on display, all driven by near identical sixtysomething white guys with facial hair and ball caps. A weird incident involving a Bronco with its flashers on and four members of the Mongols motorcycle gang swerving about looking tough. Lots of RVs towing smaller vehicles, which is unexceptional, except that one of them had both a motorcycle and a helicopter in its trailer. Now that’s a vacation.

I was behind a Toyota hybrid geekmobile with the license GOATCHZ. Someone gordonzola knows?

I want to see all you SFers and deeply, slowly, passionately tongue kiss you. No idea how it will work since I can’t plan for shit on my vacations.

I’m going to find pizza or something and alcohol now.

underwear

I just bought underwear. Usually I do this at a bigbox store and get generic cheap underpants & socks. This time I went to a discounter and got fancy rich people underwear & socks for the same money.

Jesus CHRIST there was a lot of packaging. Getting briefs out of a package was like opening up a new iPod or something. I’m used to just ripping open the bag-o-cloth and dumping it in the washer. After 15 minutes I have three different pieces of tape on me and my trash can is full of cardboard on which there are pictures of well-muscled young gay men.

I bet rich people spend all their time fighting packaging.

You have now read my internet diary article about my underwear. You’re glad!

You Were Wearing

You were wearing your Edgar Allan Poe printed cotton blouse.
In each divided up square of the blouse was a picture of Edgar Allan Poe.
Your hair was blonde and you were cute. You asked me,
 "Do most boys think that most girls are bad?"
I smelled the mould of your seaside resort hotel bedroom on your hair
 held in place by a John Greenleaf Whittier clip.
"No," I said, "it's girls who think that boys are bad."
 Then we read Snowbound together
And ran around in an attic, so that a little of the blue enamel was
 scraped off my George Washington, Father of His Country, shoes.

Mother was walking in the living room, her Strauss Waltzes comb in
 her hair.
We waited for a time and then joined her, only to be served tea in cups
 painted with pictures of Herman Melville
As well as with illustrations from his book Moby Dick and from his
 novella, Benito Cereno.
Father came in wearing his Dick Tracy necktie: "How about a
 drink, everyone?"
I said, "Let's go outside a while." Then we went onto the porch and
 sat on the Abraham Lincoln swing.
You sat on the eyes, mouth, and beard part, and I sat on the knees.
In the yard across the street we saw a snowman holding a garbage can lid
 smashed into a likeness of the mad English king, George the Third.

— Kenneth Koch

Burrito lockdown! Burrito lockdown! Burrito lockdown!

School Mistakes Huge Burrito for a Weapon

A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school. All over a giant burrito.

Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

“I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry,” school Principal Diana Russell said.

The terror of the tasty treat