Category: Uncategorized

Snakes finding out about shitty charter airlines

zebulon_y and I were going back and forth about the whole SNAKES ON A PLANE movie meme/joke/thing. I realized that there were important prequels, sequels, and spinoffs, including:

  • Snakes stuck in traffic on the 405 at La Cienega on the way to the airport
  • Snakes getting dumped in Salt Lake City by Delta and having to pay for the motel themselves because it was an Act of God and only getting a shitty little personal care kit and a free van ride out of it
  • Snakes taking RyanAir to Stockholm but going to the wrong airport that’s so far away from town that the four hour cab ride totally fucks them and they might as well have taken Lufthansa, plus they miss their appointment
  • Snakes stuck watching Serving Sara for 90 minutes with no sound, which is only marginally better than hearing the horrible dialogue
  • Snakes getting the shits something fierce after eating a ham sandwich from a dubious vendor at the Baltimore airport
  • Snakes arriving at Philadelphia only to find out that their luggage was sent to Pittsburgh instead due to a tagging failure and will not be available for two days
  • Snakes on a bus from Ontario to Santa Ana at 2:30 in the morning because they missed the last flight into SNA before it closed and got dumped 40 miles away

Airport

Went to pick up my mother at LAX. International Arrivals is great people watching. Today was also the day of Themed Plane Arrivals:

My mom’s flight was Singapore Airlines from Tokyo/Narita. Almost all of the passengers were Japanese business guys who immediately pulled the cellphone out of one pocket and the cigarettes out of another and rushed outside to use both. One spiky haired young Japanese guy wearing stripy weird clothing and Vans was met by an obsequious limo driver.

An Aeromexico flight from Guadalajara brought what looked like about 50 Mexican art students. All of them were about 20 and most of them were carrying some kind of portfolio. I think it’s time we woke up to the danger here. All those art students are swarming across the border and taking our barista jobs and/or seats at the coffeehouse where they can whine about not making it.

Finally an El Al jet disgorged lots of beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Jew girls all of whom had long flowing dark hair, big earrings, classic Mediterranean features, and huge smiles. They strode happily down the ramp and were immediately intercepted by nervous men in yarmulkes before the rest of us could get at them.

There was also a Sikh family of about 25 who all greeted each other expansively with a factorial number of hugs exactly in the gangway so no one could get through. This happens each time and I suspect it’s the same family.

livejournal login/cookie notes

1) When posting on someone’s LJ, doublecheck that you’re logged in first and not about to post anonymously! Everyone’s been making this mistake lately. It makes it hard because then I have to run around unscreening things.

2) If you’re stuck on Mac OS 9, iCab appears to do everything necessary to make the site work. At least the equivalent version for OS X does, and I believe they’re feature-equivalent.

3) IF AT ALL POSSIBLE, INVOLVE A COW

Does Humor Belong in the News?

1:04 : ignatzmous : al’Powar-point: http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/print?id=1537040
1:06 : zeb : I wonder if it says “al’Qaeda Confidential – Do Not Distribute” at the bottom of every slide
1:07 : ignatzmous : In the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful, here is my presentation entitled: Communicating Bad News
1:07 : You couldn’t use “confused guy” clip art because it’s an entire stick figure dude, either
1:08 : “Here I illustrate the necessity for the total destruction of the Great Satan with an amusing cartoon, in which all the heads have been removed.”
1:08 : zeb : “This is the roadmap for 2006-7, as you can see many exciting developments coming in the jihad, and this is only what is disclosable, and Allah knows best”
1:10 : And it is Allah’s law that whole-page wipes are halal, and the clockwise wipe is haram, and the dissolve is mukrooh, and so it shall not be done, says Allah (His Name Be Praised)
1:12 : ignatzmous : Insh’allah, the details of implementation and the timeline for rollout and most of all the pricing shall be revealed, but not in this day or this time, and certainly not by the the humble servant of Allah who brings only this presentation.