Costa Mesa History X

Allan Mansoor is Costa Mesa’s David Duke, their Jorg Haider. He’s a smooth, well-groomed, and unctuously multisyllabic racist. He presents his anti-Mexican program as a combination of respect for law and preservation of the city’s prosperity.

Behind every smiling frontman like Mansoor, though, there’s an oaf with a club. In this case it’s Martin H. Millard, a Neo-Nazi white supremacist of the familiar type: paranoid, ignorant, obsessed with racial purity, and self-published. He’s a nut, and a dangerous one.

And behind Millard is an even scarier group: violent white supremacist gangs, who mix racial violence in with their drug deals and auto theft. Guys like the one who beat up a black guy in a wheelchair outside a Circle K last month for no particular reason.

Millard and Allan are good buddies, and the same goes for Minuteman Jim Gilchrist. Mansoor turns a blind eye to Millard’s race-mix paranoia and Gilchrist’s illegal vigilantes, and they all pretend to be law-abiding citizens and deplore street crime, which is of course an “immigrant” problem.

Costa Mesans, do not be fooled. Mansoor’s buddies aren’t just making you cringe with their crackpot racist screeds. They’re also hotwiring your car, selling speed to your kid, and doing drive-by shootings. Costa Mesa is a practical capitalist town for small businessmen. Whatever else you guys need from your city government, you need the rule of law, not a lawless ideology.

Dump your mayor. He’s no friend to anyone but pathetic Nazi losers and their thug crew.

SO I’VE BEEN BROWSING MYSPACE TONIGHT

I’VE FOUND OUT A LOT OF STUFF, OKAY.

FIRST OF ALL I CAN GET UPSCALE ACCESS TO PROMOTIONAL EVENTS AND PARTIES THROUGH UPSCALE ACCESS BECAUSE THEY ARE MY HOOKUP TO THE SCENE. THE SCENE IS WHERE YOU TO TO RESTAURANTS HERE IN TOWN AND PAY EXTRA AND THERE ARE DRUNK BLONDE WOMEN THERE WITH SPRAY ON TANS. THE MEMBERSHIP IN UPSCALE ACCESS IS SO EXCITING TO THESE WOMEN THAT QUITE A FEW OF THEM ARE SEEN LICKING THE MEMBERSHIP CARDS OR STROKING THEIR CLEAVAGE WITH THE CARDS AND SEEM VERY HAPPY DOING THIS. I AM NOT SURE HOW THIS IS DIFFERENT FROM JUST GOING TO A RESTAURANT AND HAVING SOME SEX AFTERWARDS BUT I GUESS IT’S PRETTY GOOD.

I ALSO LEARNED THAT THE MAJORITY OF NEW MYSPACE MEMBERS TONIGHT ARE YOUNG WOMEN WHO HAVE JUST GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL AND WANT TO MEET FUN PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY’RE NEW IN TOWN. WHAT’S WEIRD IS THAT THEY ALL LOOK LIKE 30-YEAR-OLD PROFESSIONAL BIKINI MODELS. MAYBE HIGH SCHOOL IS DIFFERENT NOW, I DUNNO.

I LEARNED THAT SOME GUY FOR REASONS OF HIS OWN IS MAKING PROFILES FOR THE ENTIRE 1995 GRADUATING CLASS OF CORONA DEL MAR HIGH SCHOOL WITH THE REAL NAMES AND PICTURES OF THOSE PEOPLE PROBABLY WITHOUT TALKING TO THEM FIRST. THAT’S GOING TO BE A PARTY BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL ABOUT THE AGE TO BE GRADUATING FROM LAW SCHOOL ABOUT NOW AND I THINK MAYBE THEY WON’T LIKE THIS SO MUCH.

OH AND ONE OTHER THING THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED ULTRA LOUNGE NOW. IT LOOKS LIKE A REGULAR DISCO EXCEPT IT HAS TECHNO MUSIC ON A LOOP AND THE DRINKS ARE TEN DOLLARS. I AM NOT SURE WHY IT’S AN ULTRA LOUNGE BECAUSE THE PICTURES ARE JUST OF DRUNK PEOPLE OR BOOTH BABES FROM THE TRADE SHOW IN MINIDRESSES BUT MAYBE THERE ARE SOME REALLY GOOD LOUNGE TYPE CHAIRS IN THE PLACE THAT ARE SUPER COMFORTABLE.

IT WAS REALLY TIRING READING ABOUT THE ULTRA LOUNGES AND THE BIKINI MODELS AND ALL THE ENERGY DRINKS AND PROMOTIONS AND STUFF. I THINK THESE PEOPLE MUST BE A LOT MORE COMMITTED TO AN UPSCALE LIFESTYLE THAN I AM BECAUSE IT SORT OF WORE ME OUT JUST LEARNING ALL THIS NEW STUFF.

ALSO WHEN I WAS BROWSING THROUGH THE PEOPLE ON MYSPACE I SAW THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF A BUNCH OF THOSE 30 YEAR OLD BIKINI MODELS WHO JUST GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL:

THIS IS THE BEST URL EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE ENTIRE INTERNET AND WORLD WIDE WEB

http://www.cuddleparty.com/about/faq.cfm#erections

The whole FAQ is great.

Cuddle Lifeguard On Duty? What’s that?

Cuddle Lifeguards are a select group of amazing individuals who are specially trained and certified in how to facilitate Cuddle Parties. They are responsible for ensuring the integrity of the room, meaning that no sex happens, that everyone feels safe, and that the sexual energy, when it shows up, is dispersed safely. They, along with the Cuddle Caddy, facilitate the Welcome Circle and make sure everyone gets taken care of.

SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS EVELYN WAUGH NOVEL

ballistic behavior! reverse planning! predator variable! MOTH POPULATION!

I just ordered The Logic Of Failure ( at amazon ) ( at isbn.nu )

I like Amazon’s SIPs, and I particularly like the ones for this book:

Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs):
storeroom experiment, bad participants, predator variable, reductive hypothesis, reverse planning, elaboration index, ballistic behavior, experiment director, good participants, moth population, problem sector, partial goals, regulator settings, watch factory, temporal configurations, experiment participants, planning game

The new chain restaurant is here! The new chain restaurant is here!

The huge restaurant chain that owns Outback, Fleming’s, and various other Tchotchke’s/Flingers type places has brought their expensive seafood joint here, “”Blue Coral.” Best quote from the Register article is:

That was evident Tuesday night, as diners such as Stafford – clad in khaki shorts, an Oxford shirt and a Crevier BMW cap – admired Blue Coral’s high-back booth seats, iridescent-blue mosaic tiles and teak floors. The Fleming’s regular said he plans to cruise among Roy’s, Fleming’s and Blue Coral on a weekly basis.

“This is what Newport Beach is all about,” Stafford said.

Um. No. Newport beach is all about the Crab Cooker, the Villa Nova, Dad’s Donuts, the Blue Beet, and Original Pizza. Among others. There’s an actual town here and we don’t need any more chain restaurants for the guys in polo shirts and pressed khaki shorts and pressed executive hair.

I bet he has a Duffy electric boat, too. Snark. 😀

The full article is interesting, especially in the detail that America’s shitty chain restaurants are getting their profits ground to bits by high energy costs.

The banality of evil: It’s an R.N. now

Email from HR: Never, ever good news. In this case the exciting update that our “deny your health care” company is being upgraded.

Dear VixenCo Health Plan Participant:

Effective September 1, 2006, Nationwide Better Health (“NBH”) will replace SHPS Healthcare Services as the disease management and medical management vendor for the VixenCo Health Plan.

NBH will be an important part of your health coverage. Youl call NBH to get your hospital stay or surgical procedure pre-certified. NBH will also provide access to other valuable services.

Over the next few weeks, you’ll get to know NBH. Watch your mailbox at home and your work e-mail for more information coming soon.

This message is being sent to you by the VixenCo Employee Benefits Department from an e-mail address that does not accept return messages. If you have any questions, please call the Benefits Hotline at (888) 555-1212 or send an e-mail to employee.benefits@VixenCo.com

I especially like “Over the next few weeks, you’ll get to know NBH.”

I have a special deep burning anger in my heart for Utilization Review “nurses.” They’re the Good Germans of the healthcare world, reducing cost by using their medical expertise to choose the cheapest option every time, deny anything they can, and talk people out of seeking care. Nowadays they don’t just keep you from getting surgery or tests, they also send out colorful brochures urging you to call them when you feel unwell so they can keep you from going to the doctor.

CHRIST, WHAT AN ASSHOLE

Someone decided to get really, really high and shoot at people in an alley over off Baker & Fairview in Costa Mesa the other day. Killed one guy, hurt a few others. The victims appear to be nice local boys without any known criminal connections. Everyone involved was of Mexican ancestry. Everyone who knew the victims is shocked and saddened; there are little memorials on the street and the people at the surf shop where the dead guy worked are really down. It’s a bad day for the city and for my city, too; we’re so close. But here’s what Costa Mesa’s crypto-Nazi Mayor had to say:

“When you have job centers, soup kitchens and a high concentration of downscale rental units, it drives the city down,” Mayor Allan Mansoor said. “I favor a multi-faceted approach including stronger gang enforcement and overlay zone revitalization, and I also think a social worker holding the hand of a hardened gang member has not worked in other cities.”

Allan, it’s time to go. Maybe rural Arizona would be good for you, or that Pennsylvania town that just passed the “no Mexicans allowed” law. Running the Mexicans and the poor out of town is a solution to a problem no one has but you. What we wanted to hear was “Murder is the most serious of crimes and we’re lucky it’s rare here in Costa Mesa. We will bring these guys to justice and we will all work together for a safer city.” Just in case you have a pen handy, you might want to write that down.

And while we’re at it, I’ve been looking over the manifest for the Mayflower here and I see Smith and Standish and Johnson and Grey… Mansoor? No, no Mansoor. How odd. I was just reading the other day about how people with names like “Mansoor” are involved in all sorts of terroristical activities. Maybe we need to overlay zone revitalize about that.

http://www.dailypilot.com/articles/2006/08/04/publicsafety/dpt-shooting04.txt

http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/homepage/abox/article_1233749.php

SAUCE from lazy me.

I like smoky barbecue. But I don’t own a smoker. Nor do I always have the wherewithal to drag the hibachi grill out and charcoal cook stuff. So I fake stuff up, to be lazy.

rice vinegar
tomato paste
fresh garlic
chipotle tabasco
molasses

This set of ingredients in vague quantities to taste makes goop to put on stuff before roasting or broiling it in the oven. It is in no way barbecue but it’s dangerously good. A person could eat a whole tri-tip in these circumstances if the person was big enough, which thank Heaven I’m not.

Washington, DC: 1861

By invitation of a well-known official, I visited the Navy-Yard yesterday, and witnessed the trial of some newly-invented rifled cannon. The trial was of short duration, and the jury brought in a verdict of “innocent of any intent to kill.”

The first gun tried was similar to those used in the Revolution, except that it had a larger touch-hole, and the carriage was painted green, instead of blue. This novel and ingenious weapon was pointed at a target about sixty yards distant. It didn’t hit it, and as nobody saw any ball, there was much perplexity expressed. A midshipman did say that he thought the ball must have run out of the touch-hole when they loaded up, for which he was instantly expelled from the service. After a long search without finding the ball, there was some thought of summoning the Naval Retiring Board to decide on the matter, when somebody happened to look into the mouth of the cannon, and discovered that the ball hadn’t gone out at all. The inventor said this would happen sometimes, especially if you didn’t put a brick over the touch-hole when you fired the gun. The, Government was so pleased with this explanation, that it ordered forty of the guns on the spot, at two hundred thousand dollars apiece. The guns to be furnished as soon as the war is over.

The next weapon tried was Jink’s double back-action revolving cannon for ferry-boats. It consists of a heavy bronze tube, revolving on a pivot, with both ends open, and a touch-hole in the middle. While one gunner puts a load in at one end, another puts in a load at the other end, and one touch-hole serves for both. Upon applying the match, the gun is whirled swiftly round on a pivot, and both balls fly out in circles, causing great slaughter on both sides. This terrible engine was aimed at the target with great accuracy; but as the gunner has a large family dependent. on him for support, he refused to apply the match. The Government was satisfied without firing, and ordered six of the guns at a million of dollars apiece. The guns to be furnished in time for our next war.

The last weapon subjected to trial was a mountain howitzer of a new pattern. The inventor explained that its great advantage was, that it required no powder. In battle it is placed on the top of a high mountain, and a ball slipped loosely into it. As the enemy passes the foot of the mountain, the gunner in charge tips over the howitzer, and the ball rolls down the side of the mountain into the midst of the doomed foe. The range of this terrible weapon depends greatly on the height of the mountain and the distance to its base. The Government ordered forty of these mountain howitzers at a hundred thousand dollars apiece, to be planted on the first mountains discovered in the enemy’s country.

These are great times for gunsmiths, my boy; and if you find any old cannon around the junk-shops, just send them along.

There is much sensation in nautical circles arising from the immoral conduct of the rebel privateers; but public feeling has been somewhat easier since the invention of a craft for capturing the pirates, by an ingenious Connecticut chap. Yesterday he exhibited a small model of it at a cabinet meeting, and explained it thus:

“You will perceive,” says he to the President, “that the machine itself will only be four times the size of the Great Eastern, and need not cost over a few millions of dollars. I have only got to discover one thing before I can make it perfect. You will observe that it has a steam-engine on board. This engine works a pair of immense iron clamps, which are let, down into the water from the extreme end of a very lengthy horizontal spar. Upon approaching the pirate, the captain orders the engineer to put on steam. Instantly the clamps descend from the end of the spar and clutch the privateer athwartships. Then the engine is reversed, the privateer is lifted bodily out of the water, the spar swings around over the deck, and the pirate ship is let down into the hold by the run. Then shut your hatches, and you have ship and pirates safe and sound.”

The President’s gothic features lighted up beautifully at the words of the great inventor; but in a moment they assumed an expression of doubt, and says he:

“But how are you going to manage, if the privateer fires upon you while you are doing this?”

“My dear sir,” says the inventor, “I told you I had only one thing to discover before I could make the machine perfect, and that’s it.”

So you see, my boy, there’s a prospect of our doing something on the ocean next century, and there’s only one thing in the way of our taking in pirates by the cargo.

Last evening a new brigadier-general, aged ninety-four years, made a speech to Regiment Five, Mackerel Brigade, and then furnished each man with a lead-pencil. He said that, as the Government was disappointed about receiving some provisions it had ordered for the troops, those pencils were intended to enable them to draw their rations as usual; I got a very big pencil, my boy, and have lived on a sheet of paper ever since.

Yours, pensively,

ORPHEUS C. KERR.

rotating knives

mendel alerts me to this photo taken by his father. Apparently Canadians are pretty hardcore about their national day of celebration, enough so that they’re willing to give happy, water-bottle-waving celebrants a shot at the noise, dust blast, and extreme fucking danger of a military helicopter landing zone.

I know they’re not in the roped-off zone etc. etc. but if it was me I’d be some distance from that scene unless it was imperative that I get in the helicopter right away. I have no need to follow in Vic Morrow’s… er… headsteps?

Mack, Kenn, can you confirm that this is insane?