Category: Uncategorized

Happy… thing!

Halloween time is funny nowadays.

Businesses desperately need Halloween, since holidays mean spending, so they want to make anything they sell somehow orange, spooky, or candy-related. The boom in “adult” Halloween celebrations means that slutty costumes and spooky alcohol are a huge money deal now.

The children’s holiday of my childhood continues, which means big money selling candy and party favors and pumpkin-oriented merchandise. And less slutty costumes, although some parents seem to have forgotten that pimp ‘n’ ho outfits or slutty nurse costumes aren’t too great for the little ones.

But then we have the Christians. There are a lot of very conservative evangelicals around here, and they’re wealthy too. If you get too spooky and devilish, they complain and you can lose their business. Since they’re stuck with the evangelical ghetto version of the holiday you can sell them stuff too, but it has to be for some neutered “harvest” holiday: squash, orange things, candy corn, centerpieces made from um sheaves or something. They’ll have a party and eat pumpkin pie and pray a lot and talk about Fall, and no demons allowed. It’s goofy but I understand. If I really believed in demons and evil witches, I wouldn’t want to play around about it and have my kids dressing up that way.

So, a lot of stores talk about “the season!” or “fall” or just have orange things, and it’s funny to see which ones do this and how they get around using the H word. The combination of hypocrisy and greed is always good for a laugh.

I saw a hilarious example at one of our local churches this week. They’re having a fun celebration for the kids and there was a big sign and display outside for it. They wisely sidestepped both “Halloween” and “harvest” but their choice was, wait for it… pirates. So there was a big pirate ship display and a “Pirate Fun Party” sign.

I agree with them that demons, devils, lost souls, ghosts, witches, and the Undead are not cool in their world and shouldn’t be celebrated. But what exactly is the difference between trivializing the terrors of Hell and whitewashing the rape, murder, pillaging, alcoholism, prison-sex sodomy, Vitamin C deficiency, and sociopathic greed of piracy? Maybe you guys should just go back to the sheaves-as-centerpieces thing and have some pumpkin seeds. Pumpkin seeds are tasty.

Uhh. Apple?

ladies night

The Apple Store in Costa Mesa had a sign outside the store advertising a “Ladies’ Night.” It appears to be some kind of “outreach to women” thing. It isn’t clear whether the event itself is going to be useful, but they really could have chosen a better name for it. Really they could.

Happy Halloween, everyone!

DEVIL FACIAL TUMOR DISEASE – AUSTRALIA (TASMANIA)(02)
**********************************************
A ProMED-mail post

ProMED-mail, a program of the
International Society for Infectious Diseases

Date: 24 Oct 2006
From: Pablo Nart
Source: ABC [edited]

The Tasmanian Government has acknowledged the outbreak of the devil
facial tumor disease in a wildlife park in the state’s north is a
serious setback to the preservation of the species. The state’s chief
veterinary officer has been sent to the Trowunna Wildlife Park at
Mole Creek to try to determine the cause of the outbreak.

Tests for devil facial tumor disease came back positive late last
week for 2 devils at the park.

It is the first time the disease has been found in a wildlife park.

The animals, a 4-year-old male and a 5-year-old female, were bred at
the park and are now in isolation.

Alex Schaap of the Primary Industries and Water Department says the
intrusion of a wild devil is the most likely explanation for the outbreak.

“The discovery of infected devils in that captive population is a
blow because we have a number of devils in captivity which are now at
risk of the disease. That doesn’t mean that other devils in captivity
are at risk,” he said.

The 4 devils sent to Denmark as a gift to celebrate the birth of
Denmark’s Prince Christian came from Trowunna.

But he’s a millionaire!

According to the Register, a Mr. Joseph Garcia is currently in jail here on a million dollars bail for rape and sexual assault of at least three women. Mr. Garcia’s M.O. was to go on a date, take her home, and jump her. This is apparently not recommended in that he could get up to 45 years if convicted. And where did he get his dates? One just at the post office, and the others at MillionaireMatch.com!

Don’t worry, gals. Not all of the local real estate millionaires are rapists.

Edit: From the millionaire dating service site itself: “If the site is slow at this moment, come back early morning or late night. It may be due to the recent publicity about a major Hollywood celebrity having found a match here.” Yes, or…

Register story is here:

http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/homepage/abox/article_1328764.php

fire the noodle cannon and eat

After a conversation with the Exploding Aardvark tonight I realize I have accidentally come up with a new holiday.

I haven’t been eating much during the day and then at night recently I’ve been going out for Japanese noodles. A lot. Both frequently and a lot of noodles. Tonight I had the hakata ramen, with extra noodles, chashu, and wonton, at Shinsengumi.

I am celebrating Ramendan. Clearly this is some kind of Flying Spaghetti Monster holiday.

And they say nothing happens here

Man shot with taser after alleged carjacking attempts
By KATHERINE NGUYEN
The Orange County Register

Costa Mesa — An unidentified man police say was responsible for three carjacking attempts is in the hospital after being shot with a taser gun by officers.

The bizarre string of events started with a three-car accident at 11 p.m. Friday near the intersection of Newport Boulevard and 19th Street. From witness reports, police said the man who caused the accident got out of his car and attempted to carjack a cab. An altercation broke out and it is believed the cab driver ran over the man with his taxi.

“That apparently didn’t stop the suspect and he then attempted to carjack a second vehicle,” said Costa Mesa Police Lt. Dale Birney. “This guy was a one-man crime wave.”

Police received more reports of carjackings further south on Newport Boulevard. At Newport and 18th Street, the same male suspect reportedly punched a motorcyclist before heading over to Newport and Lido Isle. It is unclear how the suspect got there, but police said they found the suspect jumping on parked cars and pulling the windshield wipers off.

Lt. Birney said Newport Beach police then shot the man with a taser the several times. The man, believed to be in his 20s, became unconscious and was taken to Western Medical Center in Santa Ana. His condition is unknown and the investigation is ongoing. He is likely to be arrested for the attempted carjackings in Costa Mesa and felony vandalism in Newport Beach, police said.

weak end update

This has been a good weekend, full of unexpected social delights and fatty foods.

I have had totally heterosexual man-dates two nights in a row. Friday, burntcurtis took me for Chinese (and I hardly look it) at China Palace, where I ate round-eye delights like orange spicy chicken. Great conversation with him in a romantic booth. Last night threepunchstuff spirited me off to a G(r)eek restaurant where we ate flaming cheese, etc. Thanks to both of you for being wonderfuli and totally heterosexual man-friends!

I also got to see all sorts of people I never see, and purely by chance, including the reclusive handstil and godforesaken who are rarely observed since their natural habitat is fifty feet underground.

And! Other people had sent me books recently so I read a pile of them, including two graphic novels about hellholes. Guy Delisle’s Pyongyang details his time in North Korea working on animation projects, and Ted Rall’s half-graphic Silk Road To Ruin is a combination “comic book” about his travels there and history/backgrounder on Central Asia. Both good. Rall’s is particularly useful and full of the sort of black humor that only places like Turkmenistan provide.

I’m enjoying the Halloween season this year for the first time in forever. I managed to recapture that childhood sensation of anticipation about costumes and haunted houses and candy skulls. I was never big into candy, although acquisition itself was a huge high on the actual night, but I loved the way neighbors did up their houses into “scary” haunts. People around here really get into that, and there are some dark and creepy strobed-out houses with hands reaching out the windows, etc. already. I like that way better than the adult beer-bash version.

Speaking of which, the costumes for kids are turning me into Old Conservative Guy. Nick and Nicole found a set of wrist-and-ankle bondage cuffs in the Halloween store, complete with unambiguous drawing of bound hussy, that included the instruction they were not for children under six. Meanwhile, a young teenager was being urged into a Slutty Nurse Outfit by her mother, as Junior complained “Mom, they won’t allow this at school!” No.

The Santa Ana winds make my eyes and throat dry and are kind of a pain in the ass, but it’s so BEAUTIFUL here right now with that very clear light we never get. I took a load of pics in Santa Ana yesterday and maybe some of of them are salvageable. The “camera out the window at 40 mph” style isn’t conducive to great art.

Maybe I’ll drive out to the desert tomorrow.

I guess I hadn’t considered the Thrill of Mortgage as an option

DUUUUDE

But this job ad in “Squeeze OC” is convincing. Speaking of Squeeze OC, they were having a fashion show in the strip-mall denim store next to Kean as I left there tonight. It was just starting to roll as I fled. They were blasting “Lust for Life” and the DJ was instructing everyone to “gather round the runway.” Bro and ho types were sipping wine from plastic cups and gazing across the street at… the other strip mall. I left before America’s Next Medium To Low Models began striding about in $500 jeans.