Happy… thing!

Halloween time is funny nowadays.

Businesses desperately need Halloween, since holidays mean spending, so they want to make anything they sell somehow orange, spooky, or candy-related. The boom in “adult” Halloween celebrations means that slutty costumes and spooky alcohol are a huge money deal now.

The children’s holiday of my childhood continues, which means big money selling candy and party favors and pumpkin-oriented merchandise. And less slutty costumes, although some parents seem to have forgotten that pimp ‘n’ ho outfits or slutty nurse costumes aren’t too great for the little ones.

But then we have the Christians. There are a lot of very conservative evangelicals around here, and they’re wealthy too. If you get too spooky and devilish, they complain and you can lose their business. Since they’re stuck with the evangelical ghetto version of the holiday you can sell them stuff too, but it has to be for some neutered “harvest” holiday: squash, orange things, candy corn, centerpieces made from um sheaves or something. They’ll have a party and eat pumpkin pie and pray a lot and talk about Fall, and no demons allowed. It’s goofy but I understand. If I really believed in demons and evil witches, I wouldn’t want to play around about it and have my kids dressing up that way.

So, a lot of stores talk about “the season!” or “fall” or just have orange things, and it’s funny to see which ones do this and how they get around using the H word. The combination of hypocrisy and greed is always good for a laugh.

I saw a hilarious example at one of our local churches this week. They’re having a fun celebration for the kids and there was a big sign and display outside for it. They wisely sidestepped both “Halloween” and “harvest” but their choice was, wait for it… pirates. So there was a big pirate ship display and a “Pirate Fun Party” sign.

I agree with them that demons, devils, lost souls, ghosts, witches, and the Undead are not cool in their world and shouldn’t be celebrated. But what exactly is the difference between trivializing the terrors of Hell and whitewashing the rape, murder, pillaging, alcoholism, prison-sex sodomy, Vitamin C deficiency, and sociopathic greed of piracy? Maybe you guys should just go back to the sheaves-as-centerpieces thing and have some pumpkin seeds. Pumpkin seeds are tasty.

9 thoughts on “Happy… thing!

      1. HOME DUPLICATION IS KILLING RESTAURANTS
        Jesus is certainly not a rolemodel when it comes to respecting the IP rights of others. Think of the needless damage to the fishing/baking/farming industries that he did in creating all those unauthorized copies of loaves and fish.

      2. Re: HOME DUPLICATION IS KILLING RESTAURANTS
        *chuckles* True! Think about the damage done to the healthcare industry when he was healing, left and right.

  1. Look, it’s not “harvest” or “the holiday.” It’s Halloween! When these activists try to censor the very essence of the holiday, it amounts to nothing more than a War on Halloween!

  2. Heh. And then there’s the hippy-dippy organo-groovy Unitarian Universalist church I belong to. We’re having an all-ages Halloween dance, H-word and all; plus our neo-pagan group is having a nice witchy Samhain ritual. Fundamentalists are no doubt praying for our souls even as I type (but then, we tend to give them a lot to pray about …)

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