http://www.buzzmachine.com/archives/2003_07.html#004146

Key phrases:

“Privileged council of blogging elders”

“allow me a moment to dare to lecture the blogging community”

“You see, the magnet that creates that marketing power is the people’s content. I’ve learned well in my online career that the audience’s content is valuable and the audience is your best marketer if you allow the audience to be the star.”

Thanks Jeff! All of us little people are cheering you on! You’ve made us the star today! We can share in a little bit of your blogging glory, and dream that someday our own blogs will shine as brightly as yours.

By the way.. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

Ping-Pong!

(Windows Media video, 3.5M)

Today I was angry. About lots of stuff: work crap, traffic, my life in general, spots of dust, an itchy nose.

I got spammed by some New Age assholes from a “self awareness institute”. Spammed very stupidly through their cable modem. I called them and left an elaborately threatening and abusive message on their voicemail, then reported them to Cox’s abuse department, who opened a ticket. They’re near me. I want to go burn their “self awareness institute” to the ground and impale them and sow the ground with salt and tip over their obelisk. I’m just mad today.

I also had to bitch down some people at work who were playing “issue tennis” with me. You know, where you have a problem that you need someone to solve and they decide to keep asking you questions and waiting for the responses in order to slow down the inevitable approach of work? Doesn’t succeed with me, especially when I’m mad.

I was not, however, angry or mean to my cat.

Soccer updates from all over.

Or if they’ve already pulled it, there’s a screen shot here.

Just got musical spam from a radio station.

“John Mellencamp cut his teeth on the blues. Now with his latest release, ‘Trouble No More’, he returns to his musical beginnings. ”

EXCUSE ME BUT WHEN THE FUCK DID LITTLE JOHNNIE COUGAR CUT HIS TEETH ON THE BLUES?

I mean did I miss his fucking Robert Johnson period sometime in the 80s? Or maybe whiny white-boy strummin’ classic rock is what we’re supposed to call “blues” now.

Hey hey mama, I got the Clearchannel blues
Workin for a megacorp, playin what a puter choose
(Pass them big shrimp!)

The building management lady at my job just sent an email telling us not to keep our cars here overnight or they will be “toed”.

In an apparently unrelated email she asked that the owner of the Aldo shoes found on an employee’s Jeep tailgate please claim them.

Seen on the 405 today on the way to work. Fortunately for him my rocket launcher was on the fritz. To add to the amusement factor, a very dirty van with a frazzled old guy in it was in front of him, all painted up with IMPEACH BUSH and KUCINICH FOR PREZ etc. Edit: I didn’t think I got a shot with the van too, but I did! Woo!
honk honk flagboy

Not only were the famous San Francisco dog-mauling murder couple sociopathic weirdos, they were cheesy sex weirdos.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

All safe for work. Just really.. really.. Oh just click.

FOR MANY YEARS YOU PUNY EARTH-WALKERS HAVE THOUGHT I WAS A SIMPLE, WHORISH INTERVIEWER, AN OFT-MARRIED CLOWN WHO LICKED THE CLOACA OF EVERY CELEBRITY. NOW FACE ME AS I AM: WRAITH-KING, DEMON PRINCE, LORD OF EVERY UNCLEAN THING. FEEL THE LEADEN RAGE OF MY GAZE AND PREPARE YOURSELVES: YOUR SUFFERING WILL BE LEGENDARY.