9 thoughts on “Brothers and sisters, the hour and the day are here

  1. My favorite trashy supermarket in Brooklyn had its own manager do like, ALL of the in-store recordings. It sounded like Christopher Walken drunk and possibly with bell’s palsy:
    “Shopp-uhs. Please visut ow-uh prow-doosh depahwtmunt. Shopp-uhs, right NOW. In aisle FIVE. WehavesalesonSOOOP. Canned corn.”
    and my favorite were the occsisonal pep talks to their own employees:
    “Casheers. Remembah to SMILE. Remembah to take circulahs OUT of tha carts.”

  2. Coincidentially, I noticed yesterday that the Doveā„¢ brand (produced by Mars, Inc.) individually wrapped chocolate miniature squares have SATANIC messages printed on the inside of every wrapper.
    Oh sure, they call them “PROMISESĀ® Messages,” but they’re Satanic in nature. At least, the six out of six I opened yesterday after lunch were clearly and openly Satanic. I have no explanation for this phenomenon, and it honestly makes me wonder how it could be possible that I would only learn about this by actually opening the product and reading the damned things myself. How come my nearly constant obsessive reading about stupid conspiracy bullshit memes didn’t bring this one to me over the Internet first?
    Huh? How come?

  3. The Machurian Consumer…
    You didn’t notice any dissonant loners suddenly get a blank look in their eyes, clutching a dog-eared copy of “Catcher in the Rye” in one hand and a snub nose .38 in the other, did you?
    Just askin’
    mojo sends

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