I thought we were using more sophisticated stuff these days.

From the job ad for the “Tech Expo Top Secret 2007” job fair for “security-cleared professionals”:

Catapult your job search by meeting nearly every major employer in the defense industry over 2 days. Federal Agencies & Government Contractors are actively hiring at our TECHEXPO Job Fair held within AFCEA’s WEST Conference in San Diego, CA. Even if you’re just surveying the job landscape, this is an excellent place to learn about available opportunities nationwide.

I have surveyed the landscape, sir! Permission to catapult!

11 thoughts on “I thought we were using more sophisticated stuff these days.

  1. Permission granted. Please fill out the application and waiver in triplicate, sign and date all six copies(front and back), initial the third and sixth pages at the bottom and mid left margins, notorize, and record with The US Department of Defense as well as The Department of Fish and Game, OUSD and APCD. Once completed you may proceed to catapult for 3.5 seconds.
    To request additional time, please submitt another application and waiver.

    1. Please….
      Resubmit your rerquest in a further 90 days for more extended disapproval and reclarificate of the initialization specification of the extensible enhancement enabling.

      1. Re: Please….
        Oh my, We don’t do the initialization specifications at this office. You will need clearance from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives for that.

      2. Re: Please….
        oh that will not do!!! You clearly have an antiquated reporting form, since the Bureau Of Alchohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives should only be the initiating office of rejections and resubmitals if the intention is to recieve a certification of vegetation in a persistent political space when established as a part of a Quest for Circular Metalic Objects that should never been allowed in the shire to begin with.
        Please consult the state security apparatus extensible enhancement deniability memorandum 1723b/b/c-12 and the codical clarifications as outlined in Part B.
        { your mileage may vary, may cause lab rats in cancer research facilities, and this is not a prospectus to sell, service, or provide any post-surrealism, expect where void by law. }

      3. We apologise for the inconvienance
        But without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, lost, found again, queried, subjected to public inquiry, lost and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters, I can’t address any plagerous abiguities referencing Circular Metalic Objects that should never been allowed in the shire to begin with.

      4. Re: We apologise for the inconvienance
        It is so reassuring to know that the Civil Service Still has it’s high commitment to contemporary public and performance arts…

  2. UnHoly Welfare StateIsm…
    Is this the wrong time to note that the rise in employment that is the current excuse for the happy faces in the Bond Market is about the rise in UnSkilled Government Jobs…..
    So having a Security Clearance is Hipper than Thou Again???

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