Once upon a time not too long ago, I had to spend three dreadful days at one such “team-building retreat,” populated by the likes of B-Ark’ers who believe in this crap.
Karma is good, though, because one of the key HR people who produced this expensive fried tripe (chartered Hummer limos to transport people to and from the retreat site!?) soon was out of a job.
Yes, we all got keychains that said something like “You are the key.” Never have I been so thoroghly de-motivated.
Hmm, I kind of like that HR junk. And I don’t work in HR either.
BUT, when I worked for a sucky company, it was insulting to get a keychain like that, then have to pay out the wahzoo for HMO health care and get no sick time.
I guess if you work someplace you actually enjoy or respect, those HR things aren’t so much a bother.
My response to these things is well known, but here it is again for your own T-shirts:
THERE MAY BE NO “I” IN TEAM BUT THERE IS A LOT OF “U” IN “SHUT THE FUCK UP”.
I was sequestered for a two-day new employee orientation with California’s largest HMO group where they shut the doors, got on stage and sang “Celebrate Good Times…C’mon!!!” and ended the eight-hour day with “We Are Family”. It was skit after skit after interactive skit reminding us how important each and everyone’s link was within the organization.
At least they fed us continuously. Smart move.
Be My Blog 
Once upon a time not too long ago, I had to spend three dreadful days at one such “team-building retreat,” populated by the likes of B-Ark’ers who believe in this crap.
Karma is good, though, because one of the key HR people who produced this expensive fried tripe (chartered Hummer limos to transport people to and from the retreat site!?) soon was out of a job.
Yes, we all got keychains that said something like “You are the key.” Never have I been so thoroghly de-motivated.
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THERE IS NO TEAM SPIRIT, THERE IS ONLY ZOOL
Sad. They could’ve improved it 1000% by changing the text to “You are the Keymaster.”
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What about
Customers
Are
Really
Everything
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Customer service is a way of life.
Remember, your fellow associates are internal customers too!
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About now I’d be saying to the HR Person: “Your ass is a customer”…
Or Something Equally Smartass.
Yours Truly,
L
…who is nucking futs anyway
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http://masculinehygiene.com/d/m/teamfacelessguy.jpg
Scariest thing I’ve seen all week.
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“Hey, Lad-ies! I’m an Essential Piece, says so right here on my keychain! Let’s get this show on the road!”
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Hmm, I kind of like that HR junk. And I don’t work in HR either.
BUT, when I worked for a sucky company, it was insulting to get a keychain like that, then have to pay out the wahzoo for HMO health care and get no sick time.
I guess if you work someplace you actually enjoy or respect, those HR things aren’t so much a bother.
LikeLike
My response to these things is well known, but here it is again for your own T-shirts:
THERE MAY BE NO “I” IN TEAM BUT THERE IS A LOT OF “U” IN “SHUT THE FUCK UP”.
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My hero.
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Can I tell you about the vomit rising to the back of my throat right now?
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I was sequestered for a two-day new employee orientation with California’s largest HMO group where they shut the doors, got on stage and sang “Celebrate Good Times…C’mon!!!” and ended the eight-hour day with “We Are Family”. It was skit after skit after interactive skit reminding us how important each and everyone’s link was within the organization.
At least they fed us continuously. Smart move.
LikeLike