My hart is waiting for you.

I like this one partly because it’s simultaneously from Joaquin Daniels, 490stanislaus, and John Darnell. Also because of the syntax. Any guesses what language was the original? I’m not sure I want someone to love me Heepss, either. It’s also kind of hard to figure out at first what the point of the thing is. I assume that if you send mail to that address they try to rope you into a faked-up work-from-home envelope-stuffing scam, but this is an elaborate envelope for the payload.

From: Joaquin Daniels <>
Subject: Fw: Re: Hello my friend! Maybe You can help me in one thing…
Date: July 8, 2006 7:51:28 PM PDT
To: substitute
X-Spam-Status: No, score=4.8 required=5.0 tests=BAYES_20,DCC_CHECK, DK_POLICY_SIGNSOME,DNS_FROM_RFC_WHOIS,RCVD_IN_NJABL_DUL autolearn=no version=3.2.0-r418131

Hello substitute!.!

How are you? I hope you are fine. I missed you so much honey. I have been thinking about our last meeting so much and I’llnever forget all the fun we had together that month. About me all the same, same town same city same job hheheh all the same I am bored and I cant wait to visit u next year.

Almost nothing has changed between us; my hart is waiting for you. By the way, do you remember that distributor of art, who helped me selling different items, yes, that ones I was reselling to Artists and Collectors. Their Comicion to our money-bags!! They want to sell their antiques at the Art Market in Australia. But they have some reasons for not opening a branch in Australia for the moment. Maybe next year, this means that I can move to Sydney very soon.

The only thing I can say is that I’ve worked with this company for a long time and they are really the best bosses I ever had in my life, you know all the time I have in my life for my activities and also They never let me down. I am completely satisfied with their assistance in all work matters. In short they are searching for people for distant-work. This job will take only couple of hours a day, but the salary is rather acceptable, 300-400 dollars weekly.

They asked me to help them in finding any bulletin boards. I know that you work with different kinds of announcements and may be you can advice something. Or may be you know a couple of honest people who need some work. The requirements to candidate are not too high, he should be an honest person able to work with PC- Know about Internet- and some other office tools, you know, like Word Excel MSN, etc.

So if you have someone in mind, say them to write to

PS. By the way, you promised me to call and didn’t keep it. It’s no good forgetting your old and faithful friend. I’ll always be glad to here from you,

Remember me to your mates,
Love you Heepss,

John Darnell

Sun, 9 Jul 2006 10:51:28 +0800


6 thoughts on “My hart is waiting for you.

  1. My hart cannot wait, and is running in a stampede towards your house, while being chased by a fleet of wolfhounds. FLEE! FLEEEEEE!
    Or just lay down a lot of glue.

  2. i love the auto-poems tacked onto the end of spam. though lately all of mine have been a textual mash-up of jonathan livingston seagull and cajun proverbs or something like that (“dem say duh apple is best dat fall farthest from deh tree.”) pretty boring.

    1. I like to Google that stuff and find out what public-domain work it came from. Sometimes I find the book and read it. That’s what led me to D. H. Lawrence’s Women in Love, for example.

  3. Have you gotton spam from people who saw your resume on Those are going to become worse then the Nigerian scam. I get emails all time time from people saying I have great skills and should fill out a job app on their website and they will pay me gobs of cash, and the application basically asks for all of my financial info.

    1. I do get jobspam, but it was all so obviously scammy I never even looked at the sites they had. The “legitimate” recruiters are skanky enough!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.