Their “friends” setup is bizarrely broken. You can’t see anything but photo and their chosen “display name,” so you don’t know who some people are after a few months when they change their pic to Woody Woodpecker and start calling themselves Antonin Artaud.

I find myself thinking “Who is Potatoes O’Brien?” or “Not only is this woman not Audrey Hepburn, but I don’t know anyone who lives in Macon, Georgia. WTF?”

Then it gets funnier with email. Today I forwarded something and saw how that works; you get the list of display names from which to choose. Two of my friends chose the same one, it being their first name. So I didn’t know whether I was forwarding to turnip or salome_st_john. Fortunately they have similar senses of humor so I just sent it to both.

It’s strange how many recently-built human artifacts are like ancient fucked-up things that Just Somehow Happened.

25 thoughts on “Myspace

  1. i know potatoes o’brien but it took me a really long time to memorize it. and there are like eight leahs on my LJ friendslist, but luckily, only a couple of them are on my myspace list. OR IS IT JUST LUCK
    yeah, that thing is only good for finding friends from high school and checking to see if anything is going on in your town tonight. but it’s really, really good for those things.

    1. It’s also good for making yourself really miserable a) in the aftermath of a break-up, b) while having a fit of insecurity during the course of dating someone you don’t quite trust, or c) while feeling insecure about your life in general and perusing the pages of the people you thought you were friends with/were once friends with/never were friends with and find odious but still are secretly fascinated by/whatever.
      Also, there did not used to be so many Leahs. I swear.

      1. Oh, it does, it does! And it makes it easy to make up stories to either make yourself miserable OR feel better about the people you stalk, too, because you get such an thoroughly one-sided view of their lives. I mean, if you are stalking them in the first place. Stalking being such an ugly word.

      2. i uh, i have my ex-girlfriend’s myspace BOOKMARKED. jesus christ. i used to think myspace was just static and useless, but you’ve made me realize that’s worse than that.

  2. funny, i was just thinking about the oddness that is myspace.
    i was looking for an old friend and came across the entire senior class of 1995 at cdm. seems that one kid decided that it would be a good idea to set up profiles for everyone with an available senior picture and add them all to his own friends list. i was a little disappointed that it wasn’t really my friend that i’d found.
    it did convince me that he was pretty crazy though, i mean, he was always a little “off” in school…

    1. Yes, MySpace is proof that excellence isn’t needed for popularity. I’m still waiting for it to collapse completely. I will laugh so very loudly.

      1. I think they are placing ads based on demographics known from user profiles, which is probably profitable, so don’t hold your breath on that one.

      2. They were bought by Time-Warner and are now being leveraged as a marketing engine for music and film, using proxy profiles in addition the usual advertisements. In light of the available funding, a replacement does seem more likely than a total collapse. It’s actually rather interesting to observe what they’ve been doing so far (e.g. rolling blackout “maintenance”).

  3. Potatoes is my friend John, the tall guy! I have brought him to coffee before.
    You know that “myspace has encountered an unexpected error” page? It usually has me screaming: “NO, if you WORKED it would be unexpected”! and then mashing the keypad with my fingers.

      1. You and I met once, briefly though!
        John was my best friend through my awkward years. He and I were roommates 1998-2000/01 ish. Do you know his ex-girlfriend Jackie? She is my sons preschool teacher, small wooorrrlllddd.

      2. Oh! Where/when did we meet?? Sorry for not remembering (although, given only LJ, it’s hard to place it)!!
        I don’t know Jackie. John and I only know each other through a group of people I used to hang out with through my ex-boyfriend. But I love when I get to see him around town! I run into him at Mother’s a lot…

      3. At Diedrichs via C-rad, I think it was almost a year ago? could that even be/Yipes. In my head it was last summer, but my head is a confusing place to be.
        HAHA John at Mother’s. That hilarious because every time I go there I think I will run into him and half the time I am right. I also see people who used to hang out with us and one of the first things they say is always “I ran into John at Mother’s…” He must have an amazing…colon.
        God, that’s really gross, sorry.
        Who is your ex, would I know him? Costa Mesa is actually the island on Lost; There are really only 44 of us.

      4. Oh! Ok, yes now it makes more sense. I was thinking we met through John for some weird reason, and I couldn’t place it. Now I can place it.
        Yeah, I always try to tell people what it’s like living in CM and how few of us there are and how much it drives me crazy. Um, you might know him – but I’d rather not say here, just ‘cos it’s not locked. Speaking of myspace, are you on it?

  4. Myspace is totally broken in every way. My favorite example is the messaging- when you get a message on myspace, they send you an EMAIL to tell you you have a new message! Then you have to go log in to myspace to see it.

    1. Re: to clarify:
      I think I knew that too, from the last time I got confused and looked very carefully at the myspace profile. But you’re up North! How could people be running into you at Mother’s Market all the time? Is this a twilight zone episode? Am I in the world’s biggest library with broken glasses?

      1. Re: to clarify:
        Myspace’s new technology allows me to exist on multiple planes of reality concurrently. Ain’t the internets great?

  5. Customizable for your pleasure.
    But for to do that, you would need to start caring.
    And I just don’t see that happening.
    By the way, I’m not wearing underwear.

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