I am in. Um. Awe?

LONG STORY SHORT I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING A PARTY BALL FROM THE ABSINTHE CLEARINGHOUSE BUT IT WAS TOTALLY NOT WHAT I THOUGHT

springheel_jack linked to digby’s post on the “Purity Ball” phenomenon. This is put on by the Abstinence Clearinghouse people, and is a ritual in which formally-dressed daughters make a pledge of abstinence to their formally-dressed fathers. It’s basically them marrying their fathers until they find husbands.

The abstinoids sell a purity ball planner, and you can browse a photo gallery of the 2005 and 2006 balls.

This is the best Rural Pakistan ever! By the way I hear the abstinence chicks are totally easy for oral and anal, dude.

what

24 thoughts on “I am in. Um. Awe?

  1. i want to grab all the adults by their heads and shake vigorously, screaming “can’t you see how fucked-up this all is?”
    people are horrible. i want an island.
    i say that every day.

    1. Island.
      I got <a href=
      “http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&q=Ketchikan+AK&ll=55.453941,-131.314087&spn=0.601198,2.768555&t=h&om=1”
      >an island. But then I realized I needed people on it to furnish me with
      pancakes and running water, and <a href=
      “http://interglacial.com/d/photos/2004-08-23_town/main_street_and_tunnel”
      >do things, and … <a href=
      “http://interglacial.com/d/photos/2004-02-07/troupe5.JPG”
      >fashion stuff? I dunno.
      Long story short, ya can’t win. Because there always needs to be islanders to make you pancakes.

  2. WTF. Is it just me or does the name “Abstinence Clearinghouse” not make any sense. Unless I am mistaken, a clearing house is a business that gets rid of excess or leftover inventory (ex. “Publishers Clearinghouse”). Selling leftover chastity sounds a bit different.

    1. Maybe sinful young girls can exchange virginity credits the way filthy corporations trade pollution credits. You know, like a market for purity. We could make a website for it, and skim 1% of the purity off the top.
      3) PROFIT

  3. Umm…
    Ok. I get the idea. I guess it makes sense in that super christian/conservitive/life with blinders on sort of way… but isn’t marrying your dad kind of ew? Hopefully for both of them!!!!
    Wouldn’t it be nice to be blissfully unaware like these people?
    (bad thought: Travis Heaven!)

  4. He said ABSTINENCE CLEARINGHOUSE!
    Those two words are going to be popping in & out of my head all day. Sounds like a GBV song title. The last time a phrase leapt at me like that was when I was watching Law & Order the other day. Mention was made of a “wigstore switchbox” & I couldn’t help repeating it at every opportunity.
    WIGSTORE SWITCHBOX! WIGSTORE SWITCHBOX!

  5. Cheese ball
    I’m used to reality turning into The
    Onion
    these days — but now reality is starting to turn into
    Arrested Development and it’s just too much. DVD box set, take me away!

  6. The Movement is Losing Steam Already
    2005 Purity Ball: 123 images
    2006 Purity Ball: 106 images
    Abstinence Africa: 14 images
    I dig the stock art model in the background image.

  7. Yeah, I think the father angle is a little weird to say the least, but they’re not infringing on anyone else’s rights with these balls so no skin off my nose (and I can’t say someone pledging abstinence bothers me in the slightest).
    Now, when people try to claim that merely preaching abstinence is “sex education,” I have an issue.

    1. “Now, when people try to claim that merely preaching abstinence is “sex education,” I have an issue.”
      ok yeah that I can get behind.

    2. Now, when people try to claim that merely preaching abstinence is “sex education,” I have an issue.
      Yes! Don’t move to Kansas!

  8. I know I’ve seen the stories about how the fathers give their daughters purity rings. The current thing is that it should be a diamond for purity. So odd. (Does it mean you are engaged to your dad ntil you get married?)
    *shudders*

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