Mail your child to Nickelodeon

I was at the arrivals level of LAX Terminal 4 today, waiting for my mother to get off her plane. There were some women in brightly colored cheerful clothing there at an information station with brightly colored cheerful signs. At first I thought it said “Kid Check” and I got the phear. On closer examination it was “Kids’ Choice Awards”. I guess there were unaccompanied children arriving to take part in this Nickelodeon event.

The women in the cheerful teachery outfits were rushing about talking on walkie talkies and with stern men in suits and it was all very professional-looking. I guess that’s a good idea so that little Mortimer and Britney-Anne don’t get snatched up by the local CHUDs and ground up into hapless little pedo-burgers.

This is a weird town.