Classic patio scene.

Sitting at the bar next to A.J. and talking with Michelle, bla bla, half-reading a book.

In walks this woman who is so hot as to cause a readjustment of the Universal Hotness Index, one flaming screaming hot PIECE OF ASS, probably about 19 years old. I skip a few beats from pure lust, and A.J. notices. He turns around back and says “Holy shit.” I smile at her nervously, she smiles back in a very pleasant way and goes back out.

A.J. says “Dude! That was for YOU!”

“She is seven years old,” I reply.

After a few more conversations and 100 pages of reading, I head to my car. Miss. Jesus H. Christ My Spleen Just Exploded With Lust From Looking at You is sitting with Tommy “Aloysius” Dougherty, who has been “39” for ten years or so. He’s being all artistic, and soulful, and poetical, and shit.

Didn’t I see this same exact scene in 1996? And every weekend since?

22 thoughts on “Classic patio scene.

  1. I have *such* a thing for David Krumholtz, currently appearing in Numb3rs. We were watching Addams Family Values the other night, when my brother-in-law said, “Hey, that’s that guy from Numb3rs!”
    Sure enough, the adorable geek that Christina Ricci I mean Wednesday Addams dates is played by David Krumholtz. At about 12.
    Now I feel like *such* a cradlesnatcher. (Not that my feelings for Christina Ricci weren’t already unsettling on that score.)

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  2. Dude. Next time AJ starts talking about a 19 year old piece of ass, remind him of what can happen when you *do* actually get the 19 year old piece of ass. It can, um, be unpleasant. Not that I would know anything about that.

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  3. Dude. Next time AJ starts talking about a 19 year old piece of ass, remind him of what can happen when you *do* actually get the 19 year old piece of ass. It can, um, be unpleasant. Not that I would know anything about that.

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  4. some of the young ladies like men who are older than they are. for example, my hottest little friend, who i think is 23 now, recently broke up with my ex-bf, who is 43. of course, you have to be the sort of man who has the temperament for the young’uns.
    i really don’t know why she was dating him. i don’t know why _i_ was dating him.

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  5. some of the young ladies like men who are older than they are. for example, my hottest little friend, who i think is 23 now, recently broke up with my ex-bf, who is 43. of course, you have to be the sort of man who has the temperament for the young’uns.
    i really don’t know why she was dating him. i don’t know why _i_ was dating him.

    Like

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