Door to Door (slight return)

Another college guy showed up at the door with the exact same spiel.

ME: You guys already hit me up.

HIM: It’s not what you think, we’re not selling magazines.

ME: Right, you’re selling books!

HIM: …yes. Did he have something like… ::shows brochure::

ME: Right, exactly. Books for kids, in the hospital.

HIM: Well, crap. I’m just around the corner on Francisco. No one around here is in my class! What the heck?

There’s a pause and the poor guy looks genuinely lost.

ME: I’m not sure he was at UCLA like you. Maybe he is at a different school that’s doing the fundraiser.

HIM: Oh man, yeah. Crap. Yeah.

ME: So, anyway, this area has had the pitch already. Sorry.

HIM: Thanks, man. ::wanders off sadly::

4 thoughts on “Door to Door (slight return)

  1. i’m trying to figure out why i think this is so hilarious. maybe it’s one of those things i’ll write on a scrap of paper, lose, remember twenty years later, an put it in a film.

  2. I had a guy get PISSED at me in a Target parking lot because I already knew the schpiel and wasn’t having it. I’d already put my stuff in the car as he hovered near the hood– he walked up when my doors were open and unlocked, and said no politely, and then I got into the car and when I kept saying no he get MAAAAAD. I remember there being a point where I thought, “Okay, he’s going to kill me and take my car now” but no, he just glared and walked towards an old dude getting out of his NRA sticker-decorated truck.

    1. he just glared and walked towards an old dude getting out of his NRA sticker-decorated truck.
      …and that was his last day on earth.
      Sales Rage is a weird phenomenon. I wonder if someone’s written a psych analysis of it?

      1. Sales rage is bizarre and upsetting. In college I once got an unstable dude who was trying to sell newspapers yelling at me about how I was a pawn of the system or something. “You’re not a very good salesman,” I said. “I’m the BEST,” he shot back, the implication being I guess that I had shown myself unworthy of him by refusing to give him my money. Maybe this phenomenon is related to that equally bizarre one where a dude makes a sleazy pass at you and then calls you rude for rebuffing or ignoring him. Also in college this happened to me with a dude who was walking by my bedroom window. He was all, “Hi! Whatcha doin’?” and I was all, “Fuck off, this is my room.” He was baffled and angry. Is this kind of thing a consequence of male privilege, or do women do it too?

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