i’m expressing myself RIGHT NOW

So, today sucked for quite a few reasons:

  • Got up in the dark to pee and hit my head on a door, lump on head
  • Got to see a friend screwed over by the Medical Establishment
  • Had to get car fixed (door broken)
  • Had to deal with bad friendship stuff that made me sad/upset
  • A funny thing then happened (below)
  • Had to get car repaired again because they screwed it up, shouting fight with them about it, very stressful
  • More bad friendship stuff, even more stressful


I was in the Borders feeling like shit because of various problems I’m having with relationships in my life, and generally feeling like shit. Along came a friendly rotund bearded man who buttonholed me and spake: “Hello! I’m Author P.J. Hyland! I’m giving a seminar right here on Saturday about this book I wrote about love and intimacy!”

I stared at Author P.J. Hyland in wild surmise.

“Are you going to be in the area, might you come to this seminar?”

“Uhh. It’s.. possible?”

“Well!” he oozed, “let me give you this CD which has some of my songs on it and some things from my website!”

Songs.. oh dear God…. His web site is http://www.pjhyland.com/ if you dare to click.

“So!” he said brightly, “Are you in a relationship right now?”

I stared at him for a full five seconds and said “That’s not something I talk about with people I do not know.”

“But,” he said in a hurt way, “I’m a relationship author!”

I stared at him for another full five seconds.

“What’s your name?” he asked with a slightly faded grin

“I don’t talk about that either,” I growled.

He backed away about three paces and then rushed off to annoy someone else.

I hope his website has a guest book. I’m gonna get out the goatse and go look now. Prick.

5 thoughts on “i’m expressing myself RIGHT NOW

  1. I like this website. I’m there now. In it P. J. speaks of encountering “pop legends like Jimi Hendrix, Janice Joplin and Frank Zapa.” I find it ironic that the one name he spells right is the one that’s misspelled to begin with.
    Also, maybe I’m a pervert, but Intimacy: Love’s Greatest Reward sounds to me like some kind of oblique sexual euphemism.

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