I’m a PEOPLE PERSON!

Closing arguments in Fresno workplace spanking case
By JULIANA BARBASSA, Associated Press Writer
Wednesday, April 26, 2006

(04-26) 17:07 PDT Fresno, Calif. (AP) —

A saleswoman who was spanked in front of her co-workers as part of what her employer said was a camaraderie-building exercise sat quietly in a courtroom Wednesday as lawyers gave closing arguments at her civil trial.

Continue reading “I’m a PEOPLE PERSON!”

I think I tried this in a monopoly game when I was 8

Six Newsstands Vanish, Leaving Owners Bewildered

by KYW’s Mike Dunn

The bizarre case of the missing Philadelphia newsstands has a new twist, as officials learn more about the man who seemingly hired a crane company to move the stands without the permission of their owners. Newsstand owners at six locations — three in Center City, two in West Philadelphia, and one in the Northeast — were shocked Monday morning to show up for work and find their newsstands had vanished into thin air. John Rocco, chairman of the local newsstand association, says a would-be newsstand owner apparently hired a crane operator to take them away:

“He went and hired a company, it’s a crane company, and he then goes and pick up all these newsstands, and then transport them to various other locations throughout the city.”

Continue reading “I think I tried this in a monopoly game when I was 8”

Kreiss, what an asshole

WITH his vintage blue-and-red rep tie, carefully tousled hair and old metal lapel pin reading “I {heart} Grandpa,” Loren Kreiss looks like a typical style-conscious 24-year-old. He collects cool things, like 2,194 “friends” on myspace.com, an antique Coke machine and 15,000 songs on his hard drive. His vintage wristwatch is a fashion accessory, not a tool.

“My watch and all my clocks are set to the wrong time,” Mr. Kreiss said recently. “It’s symbolic of me. I don’t like to look at time.”

But as the scion of Kreiss, his family’s California-based furniture business, Mr. Kreiss (pronounced to rhyme with nice) sometimes has to work at being an iconoclast. He can barely contain his contradictions. For instance, his three-times-a-week maid often resets the clocks correctly, forcing Mr. Kreiss to reset them quirky again. (To avoid missing appointments, he consults his ever-present BlackBerry.)

The rest of the article is here at the NY Times.

But wait, no, I need to paste another quote: Mr. Kreiss writes his graphic novels on his BlackBerry while working out on an elliptical trainer at the gym.

Wait wait, no, here’s another: He hung out with bands like Blink-182 during the height of San Diego’s neo-punk scene, sang in a band and produced three records on his indie Lurid label.

Okay I have to go punch a yuppie now. Brb.

Life in These Here Now United States: My First Night in Kansas City

In 1997 I got a contract job working for Sprint in Kansas City. I’d never done out of town contracting, but this was attractive: good money for work I find easy, in an inexpensive town. I set off for a cross-country drive on Interstate 40 at a leisurely pace, stopping for the night in Flagstaff and again in Tucumcari, NM. After a long day of 80 mph in the rain and mud and cowshit up Highway 54, I arrived in the late evening at my destination.

I’d plotted out an inexpensive motel on the north side of town for the night, since I was moving into an apartment the next day. Of course I got lost. Since KC is surrounded by a ring road I went around the city a couple of times, got off on the south side instead of the north, wandered various neighborhoods, got back on the ring road, and finally stopped for gas and directions late at night in a North Kansas City service station.

The night guy at the gas station was probably no more than 25, but was missing several teeth and had a worn look to him. His skin was at once greasy and dry, and he sat like potatoes in a huge black sweatshirt. He had two knives on his belt and stank of cigarettes. He was delighted to meet me, especially when he found out I was from California. After giving me (accurate) directions to the motel, he explained himself.

“I really want to get out to California. I’m about half saved and then I’m gonna go west.”

“What’re you going to do there?”

“I’m a biker. I got to get into one of those biker gangs out West, the Angels. You know the Angels.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“It’s my dream, man. I want to ride with those guys. And I really like the violence. I want to fight, you know, I wanna stomp someone.” He smiled at me with the innocent toothless mouth of an infant.

“Damn. That’s, uh, kinda hardcore.”

“Damn right. I’m Italian, I got Mafia in my blood. I want to get in it. You know, out West it’s for real, those guys. I gotta get there and prove myself.”

“You know,” I said, “California is a lot more expensive than here unless you’re in the middle of nowhere.”

He pointed to his eyes. “I know, and I’m ready. I can take care of myself. I can do a job here and there, you know. I’ll always survive. I just got to get where the action is.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to the guy. “Well, take care of yourself, man. I hope you do okay.”

He flashed that wonderful grin again. “Hey, no worry! I’m headed there and I’m gonna kick some fuckin’ ASS!”

He shook my hand, welcomed me to Kansas City, and sent me cheerfully on my way. Nicest wannabee murderer I ever met.

Thanks, trinnit! For this buttular update.

Soft drink lodged in man

A 38-year-old Lincoln man showed up at BryanLGH Medical Center West on Monday, claiming he had been assaulted last week, police said Tuesday.

The man told hospital staff he was in the area of 28th and P streets Thursday when someone punched him in the head from behind and kicked him when he fell.

He said he temporarily lost consciousness and came to, only to find his pants down to his ankles.

An X-ray at the hospital Monday revealed a 20-ounce soft drink bottle lodged in the man’s lower intestine. He was to have it removed Tuesday.

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As Dan Savage would say, HOW’D THAT HAPPEN?

Today’s waculent and crazipathic email

From: missing.or.wrong.knowledge.syndrome@mindsnapper.zic
Subject: drinkme

Does the policeman hunt mad people or does he hunt sane people ??
(even better he hunts patology) The policeman hunts mad people, or he would
be mad, by definiton. So there should be total identity, and unity of
action, by the policeman, the general, the medical doctor, so we will not
say anymore that a raper is a sane human. We can show
why also crimes against the patrimony are not physiological conducts (if
evrybody would go doing robberies..what would happen?)

A conduct can be pathological (biological group self-destructive activity)
or non pathological (phisiological), no external or middle case is expected.
90% of the people who killed a parent is declared mentally healthful, this
means: non pathological conduct, phisiological conduct (genetic or non
genetic), good doctor, not vector of functional or anatomical suffering.

Medicine is an exact science, jurisprudence is an exact science. Enemies and
friends: of the mental hygiene only, war between doctors isn’t expected
value. “Fighting with islam against the devil” : this information is
harmless and profitable.

Siegmund Freud lies not knowing to be lying: he is a conceptual pedophile
who says children has sexual attraction for parent (edipus) and that mind is
partitioned in 3 parts (ego superego es). False premiss brings wrong result:
like Freud says, cognitive error is associated with pathological conduct.

“All fine at home? Do your parents act with you like with friends?”: the
medical doctor must suggest this or enhanced reflection to the habitants,
for excluding non-genetic behavioral epidemics. Slapping child is a crime
and a mania, like by the general rule, “if child doesn’t born genetically
stupid, handicapped, diseased, socially dangerous”. Earth’s habitants kill
gays but children don’t born gays, habitants corrupt and kill children
doing a “sacrifice to the devil”: this non genetic epidemic is familiarly
but not geneticaly transmitted.

God created phisiology and patology and gave you the chance to choice.
With baptism christians forgive themselfs from god’s sentence.

1:28 God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number;
fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of
the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
1:29 Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the
whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be
yours for food.
1:30 And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of
the air and all the creatures that move on the ground-everything that has
the breath of life in it-I give every green plant for food.” And it was so.

If vegetarian diet gives longer and better life than non-vegetarian diet,
non-vegetarian diet is alimentary behavior pathology. Eating another
human is a behavioral disturb; a cow has 96,5% dna perfectly matching
with human dna. I am racist: i think animals is inferior race, so i don’t
have to eat cadavers, thing that induce a phisiological genetic reflex :
vomiting.

This text describes a surgical practice, and can’t be copyrighted ;
you are authorized to the use u think is necessary, please forward.
This is a final version or close, you will not receive notifications
anymore. call for emergencies pog975 hotmail it