Roger Corman Presents: PINK GUNS!

pink pink glock glockspringheel_jack pointed me to this: Bill O’Reilly, who has been sailing further and further from the shore, reports that gangs of armed lesbians are running amok. Apparently they force homosexuality on hapless victims, some as young as 10 years old! Best quote:

“It’s all over the country,” Wheeler replied. “I mean, you go from New York to California to wherever you want to name, you can see these organizations.” Next came the pink guns. “Now, the other thing, too, that our viewers are going to find very, very interesting, is the fact that they actually carry—some of these groups carry pink pistols,” Wheeler said. “They call themselves the pink-pistol-packing group. And these are lesbians that actually carry pistols. That’s 9-millimeter Glocks. They use these. They commit crimes, and they cause a lot of hurt to a lot of people.”

. And, terror of terrors, THEY’RE RIGHT!

PinkPistols.org: ARMED GAYS DON’T GET BASHED

No Smoking Caprine in Captain’s Galley Goat Slaughter E. Coli Poisoning Death Incident

Emphases below are mine:

ESCHERICHIA COLI O157, RESTAURANT – USA (NORTH CAROLINA): CAPRINE ORIGIN SUSPECTED

Date: Tue 19 Jun 2007
Source: Charlotte (NC) Observer [edited]

Health officials closed a China Grove, NC, restaurant linked to a deadly _Escherichia coli_ outbreak on Mon 18 Jun 2007 after learning some employees slaughtered a goat there in May 2007.

At a news conference, Rowan County Health Director Leonard Wood said that on Fri 15 Jun 2007 a former employee of Captain’s Galley Seafood Restaurant in China Grove told health officials a goat had been slaughtered in the kitchen. Wood said the restaurant’s owners confirmed the goat slaughter over the weekend. News of the slaughter was “very disturbing” to him and the restaurant’s owners, Wood said. “They don’t know if or when the restaurant will reopen,” he said.

On Thu 14 Jun 2007 an 86-year-old Salisbury resident died at Rowan Regional Medical Center of complications related to an infection of a dangerous strain of the bacterium _E. coli_ [O157:H7]. She was one of 21 people who got sick after eating at the restaurant, Wood said.

Health officials said they interviewed 26 employees and heard conflicting stories. The goat was slaughtered sometime between 11 and 20 May 2007, Wood said. Restaurant patrons got sick between 26 May and 3 Jun 2007, Wood said.

Health officials cannot prove the outbreak of the intestinal disease was caused by the goat slaughter, Wood said. It will be hard to establish a link without finding part of the goat carcass. “I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to confirm the goat (as the source of the illness), or anything, for that matter,” he said.

Greensboro lawyer David Brown, who represents the restaurant owner, said he believes 2 or 3 employees were involved. One had been with the restaurant for a while and was a person “in whom we had confidence,” Brown said. The other 2 employees were recent hires, he said.

Brown said he was told the goat wasn’t killed “for some religious or cultural reason, but simply a desire to cook the goat and eat it.” Brown also said the employees bought the goat from a local farmer and brought it into the restaurant after hours, Brown said. The employees killed the goat in the kitchen, but took it elsewhere to cook, Brown said. The attorney said the employees didn’t use the restaurant’s utensils.

Health officials announced the _E. coli_ outbreak on 7 Jun 2007. Officials said they learned of another suspected case of _E. coli_ on 18 June 2007, bringing the total to 8 confirmed cases and 13 suspected cases.

[Byline: Sharif Durhams and Adam Bell]

— Contributed by: ProMED-mail

[The association of _E. coli_ O157 and restaurants is not new and, in fact, undercooked ground beef from a fast food chain caused the initial outbreak of the disease in 1982 (1). Since then, outbreaks have occurred related to ground beef and a variety of other vehicles including unpasteurized cow’s milk, contaminated water (for swimming or drinking), petting zoos and contaminated uncooked vegetables.

Other domesticated animals have also been associated with the organism besides bovines, including goats (caprines). Outbreaks have been associated with unpasteurized goat milk (2) and ProMED has previously reported cases associated with goat cheese (20060512.1356). Not surprisingly, goats in petting zoos have been found to carry the organism in the gastrointestinal tracts (3,4).

Although meat from the slaughtered goat was not available for testing (hence, no “smoking caprine“), this outbreak is unique for this possible epidemiologic link.]
(This is ganked from the Pro-Med mailing list, available at )

This is a fine Hoppe’s #9, nonvintage but oleaginous and cleansing.

http://www.nrawines.com/

This month’s specials are a Smokeless Fumé Blanc ’98, a charmingly rusty but deburred 1911 Colt, and several beautifully aged and rare 1944 Mauser Qualitatswehr from the extremely limited Himmler Select collection. For a relaxed sipping evening we once again offer excellent values in case quantities of Mad Dog 30/30.

Great idea. Alcohol and firearms are an awesome mix. I think I’ll also join the American Heart Association Bacon Club, and order another case of Abstinence Project Thongs from Cafe Press.

Win goes to zebulon_y: “Whites Only”

The shoes.

I had a mission. It seemed simple. My task was to acquire and ship a pair of shoes to mendel.

Acquisition was easy; about five clicks of ecommerce.

Then I discovered that shipping a pair of shoes to a friend in Canada is… fraught. It’s not expensive. Nor is it physically difficult. However, the bureaucracy involved is nearly Slavic.

First I tried to do this via FedEx. They had a reasonably priced shipping option, and their website promised a step-by-step process for getting the customs declarations and shipping labels right.

The actual process resembled a “choose your own adventure” script in which failure might result in international arrest warrants for fraud, smuggling, failure to comply, cavalier attitude towards generally accepted procedures of international commerce, and yeggery. Deep in the middle of Adventure #3 I found myself faced with a screen in which I had to choose whether the shoes were “ornamental” in some way or “shoes, leather sole, fabric upper, pointed, ballet, en pointe, intended for legitimate artistic purposes.” I imagined a bad click resulting in poor mendel forced to pirouette on a pair of city walking boots under pain of permanent fugitive status on an Interpol warrant.

I gave up on FedEx. Their process “concluded” without any ability to schedule a pickup. Apparently I hadn’t finished, but there was no clue why.

The United States Postal Service was more promising. In fact, their procedure was honestly step-by-step, and the rates again very reasonable! I happily clicked through a few screens, entered my information, and was presented with a PDF which I printed. No joy. The PDF printed without addresses and strangely truncated. I had mistakenly clicked “okay!” and charged my credit card before I saw that the printout was very much not okay. Oh God! What to do now? Once you’ve printed out the damned thing you can’t do so again without doubling the charge, which then becomes less than reasonable.

Fortunately the EZ-Print-O-Matic system had dropped a turd on my desktop which turned out to be the PDF itself. I opened it with Adobe Reader instead of the Mac’s “Preview” program and it printed out just fine. Whew! I now had the five required copies of the label/customs declaration, prepaid postage, the package itself, and a false sense of confidence.

eyeteeth and I arrived at the post office today and found it nearly empty! no line, friendly staff. Hopes were high. Unfortunately, I had failed to throw out the first, bad printout of the label and had brought it with me instead of the second, good printout. The postal lady couldn’t do a thing with the first printout because it was so badly truncated that there wasn’t enough information for her to fill out a real one. She sadly told me I’d have to bring the real one or she couldn’t ship.

Ordinarily I would have cursed God and died, rushed home, found the proper paperwork, and gone back to the Post Office. But I had to feed the eyeteeth and myself, and had to get her to the airport. This was no time to admit defeat. Off we went to Cafe Zinc to eat well, and from there to the airport.

Problem: the mailing date on the forms was fixed at today. What will happen? Tomorrow I will try to contact “customer” “service” at the USPS and find out if I have completely failed and missed my “window” in which case I’ll start over. With luck this will be no problem. Then I will be able to mail the package.

As Art Spiegelman titled his story of Maus after the war, and now my troubles began. Or rather mendel‘s troubles. If or when I ship the package, will he receive it? Will the broker (Canadian for “bandito”) give him the shoes? Will the shoes arrive? Will they be approved by Canadian Customs, or rejected as somehow dangerous or economically rapacious or otherwise un-Canadian? Will mendel be forced to dance a sequence from Swan Lake for Mounties to avoid transportation to the Baffin Bay Correctional Work Institute?

You my readers will be the first to know. Pray for us.

Wouldn’t have had much fun in Stalingrad

vanmojo alerted me to something very special about this year’s Rose Parade. For those outside the US, the Rose Parade is a huge New Year’s Day event connected with the Rose Bowl college football game. Corporations make giant floats, high school bands march, and it goes on forever.

Because 2007 will be the 30th anniversary of Star Wars, George Lucas will be the grand marshal. And also because of this, the 501st Legion will be marching in the parade.

charity stormtroopersHaving a lot of Star Wars stuff in the parade sounds cool. Maybe some of the actors from the original movie, or a bunch of wookies. But no. This will be a large gathering of the Imperial Stormtroopers marching by in review.

The 501st has a long and hilarious history of charity appearances, each of which is more like an Onion article than the others. And they’re just costumed nerds, I know.

So I guess it’s perfectly fine to have the brutal, oppressive cannon fodder minions of the dark Empire marching proudly in our parade. You know, the ones who kill and burn Luke’s family at the beginning of the original movie. And it’s totally cool also to have a group named after the Nazi murderers who slaughtered millions of innocents in a horrific war of aggression, carrying out the most notorious genocide in the history of mankind. In fact, it should be awesome!

No wait, it’s that other thing: shockingly ignorant and offensive!

Someone please tell me this is a long drawn-out prank by Mel Brooks. Please.

Edit:Lucas’ extensive ripoffs from The Triumph of the Will just aren’t helping here either. Pasadena is the new Nuremberg.

top search results for my website this month

unicode sliderule
octopus people
mopportunity
determined bush
who invented the zodiac signs and how long have they been around?

Okay, the unicode sliderule is something I put up for torgo_x. And the mopportunity is from a Leisuretown caption. I’m worrierd about the Octopus People and the Determined Bush. I think the Manimals know I’m on to them and don’t want me to tell the President about the danger.