Competition for the title “Cheesiest Heavy Metal Video Ever” is intense. For one thing, it includes some 1980s material that can only be described as seminal in every way.
Via the Exploding Aardvark and Blabbermouth, I present to you:
Hammerfall – Hearts on Fire (Quicktime)
I will give you only one hint before you click: it’s winter sports-related.
Edit: For those who can’t see video, a small gallery of images is presented for your enjoyment below the cut here
ludickid points to an almost completely incomprehensible review of Brokeback Mountain by a very confused guy, and the discussion thread produces much hilarity.
We are all Junior High School Newspaper Editorials now.
If you don’t have time to read the entire mess of a review, this very short silent video the guy posted of himself off his xanga (!) should be enough for you to get the gist.
From: etheraealnetrlji@edirect-broadcast.com
Subject: The Moon And The Planets, Virtually
Date: January 28, 2006 10:56:40 AM PST
To: conrad@fringehead.org
The Galactic Government in exclusive partnership Ethereal Network Solutions. and utilizing their registration and registry systems (http://www.etherealnet.com) and the Lunar Embassy (www.lunarembassy.com), have entered into a historic agreement.
THE WORLD’S FIRST EXTRATERRESTRIAL INTERNET
I don’t know where to start with this one, really. You guys go ahead.
wanted: Christian Surgeon – 37
Reply to: pers-128627397@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-01-26, 7:25AM PST
I want to meet a surgeon, preferably plastic surgeon in the NewPort beach area. Make me perfect so you will be proud. I love to go to the movies, dinning out, DVDs in, rainy nights, sunsets, dancing, my 2 wonderful kids (14 and 11), God, travel, sight seeing, shopping, horseback riding, SCUBA diving, skiing, going to the gym, relaxing at home, redecorating my humble apartment, good food, good wine and good movies. I enjoy the finer things in life.
Me: I am sweet, 5’8″, blond (gold) and blue, family oriented, also like to be alone, romance, roses and candles, aromatherapy and music.
I currently work in billing for a large clinic.
* this is in or around OC
* no — it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Apparently people are mummifying themselves with air conditioners and doing a poor job of it (smell of death, etc.).
Had you considered going into business as a Preservation Consultant? You could make a nice living and Give Back to the Community this way, and get the Mummyship a new set of tires or whatever it needs.
threepunchstuff has a good roundup of O.C police blotters today. I want to put orange dots on people’s garages now.
From looking at books on neurofeedback, and being a bit squicked by someone’s healthfoodstorenutcase list including the phrase “Neurofeedback + light/sound device = Infinite Synergy!! Out of this world !!! The proteus also goes up to 50hz”, I clicked on a list that was linked, but was actually just about fucked-up Twin Peaks type stuff, and then linked from that was, uh
Six degrees of dumbass, everywhere. AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
Today’s mixed metaphor is courtesy of Timberland.com and their winter outerwear sale: “Plow into winter with an insulated snorkel”.
I SAID: MEAT HELMET.
Pneumatic ‘air muscles’ control the helmet, forcing the user to eat at intervals specified by a CPU located on a belt. The on-board program sends out commands to an electronic valve, which controls the supply of compressed air to the air muscles. A keypad allows the user to punch-in the amount of calories about to be consumed (Big Mac = 560), where the program will calculate how many chews are needed to burn them off (chewing = 70 calories/hour), commencing the forced-chewing upon the user (8 hour workout!).
Be My Blog 