hezbollabaq boy

The gold standard for executive authority in this world is clear. If you’re the top guy, you get guarded by the U.S. Secret Service. This is the only explanation I can find for this picture. Here’s the leader of Hezbollah, fanatical turbanist group. He’s in full Iranian-style mullah/politician getup, but his guards look like Jean Reno Eurotrash versions of Dubbya’s heavies, all the way down to the dark glasses and the expensive suits.

The effect for me is more Bad Hip-Hop Video than Imposing World Leader, but I bet it plays well back home.

Evildoer located

They busted a terrorist cell and weapons depot in San Bernardino County. There were more than 1,300 weapons, including machine guns, silencers, and a grenade. There were five pounds of C4 plastic explosive and a terrorist training camp at a chicken ranch in Pomona.

But it’s a below-the-fold news story. Why aren’t there breaking story alerts, live press conferences, CNN 3-D reconstructions of the scene, constant re-running of grainy arrest footage?

Because he’s a Cuban exile, of course. Those are the happy kind of terrorist.

I am so totally blowing up L.A., dude.

O.C.’s own terrorist wack job Adam Gadahn is the star of Al Qaeda’s latest video, in which Melbourne and Los Angeles are threatened. You know, it would be appropriate if the next totally fucked-up terrorist attack was carried out by yet another freaky Californian who’s been doing cults and subcultures for years and finally found the one that would piss off his parents the most.

I bet Al Qaeda is only going to show videos until they get an audience built, though. Then it will be game shows and comedy and drama series, and they’ll start showing videos on AQ1…