Tag: sex

I am in. Um. Awe?

LONG STORY SHORT I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING A PARTY BALL FROM THE ABSINTHE CLEARINGHOUSE BUT IT WAS TOTALLY NOT WHAT I THOUGHT

springheel_jack linked to digby’s post on the “Purity Ball” phenomenon. This is put on by the Abstinence Clearinghouse people, and is a ritual in which formally-dressed daughters make a pledge of abstinence to their formally-dressed fathers. It’s basically them marrying their fathers until they find husbands.

The abstinoids sell a purity ball planner, and you can browse a photo gallery of the 2005 and 2006 balls.

This is the best Rural Pakistan ever! By the way I hear the abstinence chicks are totally easy for oral and anal, dude.

what

Welcome to Double Standard, GA

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060404/us_nm/crime_sextourism_dc

Hey! Surprise! Underage prostitution right here in these here now United States! Thriving! The bit on how Georgia is a destination because the penalty is “Only 5 to 20 years” is kind of weak, though. No one wants a 20-year prison sentence.

Best quote: “Another man drove from North Georgia, with a bag containing a teddy bear, a love note and condoms, snorting methamphetamine on the way.” Worst. Red. Sovine. Song. Ever.

story below cut

Lionel Hutz meets Sideshow Bob in Rapetown

cavalloDefense lawyer/supervillain/accused bailbond fraudster Joseph Cavallo is included in a lawsuit by the Jane Doe victim in the Haidl Gang-Rape Case. He’s responded as expected; with threats and hints of blackmail. Meanwhile, it’s clear that L.A. Times’ columnist Dana Parsons has completely and permanently disgraced himself with his coverage. I know that columnists are more “personal” in their approach than daily news journalists, but letting your seething misogyny ruin analysis of a gang rape case that highlights the bizarre world of Orange County wealthy teens and reveals corruption and collusion all the way to the top of County government is… lame.

But back to Cavallo. Clearly, if he’s included in this lawsuit, then that little bitch is going to find out what happens when you fuck with Joe Cavallo! Why, he’s going to tell the ENTIRE SCHOOL what a SLUT she is, and she’ll never get to have lunch with the popular girls again! Dude, she was raped with a Snapple bottle and she’s after blood. I don’t think you can do much worse to her now. Go ahead and release your terrible revenge upon the town of Springfield.

Attorney vows SoCal sex assault victim will regret suing him

ASSOCIATED PRESS

1:50 a.m. March 20, 2006

SANTA ANA – The attorney for one of three young men sentenced to prison for the videotaped sexual assault of an unconscious teenage girl vows that the victim and her family will regret naming him as a defendant in a $26 million civil lawsuit.

“They’re going to rue the day they brought me into this case,” said Joseph G. Cavallo, who represented Gregory Haidl, son of a former Orange County assistant sheriff.

Haidl, 20, and co-defendants Keith Spann and Kyle Nachreiner, both 21, were sentenced earlier this month to six years in state prison stemming from the July 2002 incident.

The civil lawsuit filed in December by the victim, now 20, names as defendants her attackers, Cavallo and two defense investigators, John Warren and Shawn Smigel.

The victim, known only as Jane Doe, alleges that Cavallo and the investigators harassed and intimidated her by staking out her Rancho Cucamonga house, improperly obtaining her medical records and revealing her identity, among other things.

“We’re taking these people to task about what they did,” said her attorney, Sheldon Lodmer. “They crossed the line in terms of appropriate legal defense.”

Cavallo said he did nothing wrong. He denied Jane Doe’s claim that investigators screamed out her name at her new school and said they had to stake out her home to serve her parents with court papers.

He characterized the lawsuit as “revenge” and said that during the civil trial, his defense will include bringing up new information about Jane Doe’s past.

“By the time I get done with Jane Doe, the case won’t be worth $10. I know more about Jane Doe than her lawyer and her family,” Cavallo said.

Haidl, Spann and Nachreiner were convicted last year of 15 felony counts for sexually assaulting the then-16-year-old victim with lighted cigarettes, a pool cue, a Snapple bottle and a juice can as she lay nude and unconscious on a pool table at the home of Haidl’s father, who was not present.

During the criminal trial, Cavallo and other defense attorneys portrayed the victim as an emotionally troubled, promiscuous, would-be porn star who faked unconsciousness on the tape.

Lodmer said he anticipated Cavallo would attack his client.

“I’m sure he will use this opportunity, and she’s ready to stand up to it,” Lodmer said.

She wants to touch your monkey.

Sometimes you see a news story or a link or whatever and think “Hey, this friend of mine would be interested. Other times you might see one and say “Wow, this is tailor made for this one friend of mine!” And then there’s the time you see a web page and say “Holy crap! brianenigma is controlling the universe somehow!”

Combining Bettie Page and an inflatable monkey in one blog update. What are the chances, folks?

All Rise for President Rufus T. Pissfreak

via waxy:

http://suicidegirls.com/news/technology/14604/

The Director of Filtering for Secure Computing, the company that distributes the broken censorware product “SmartFilter”, wants to protect the children from filth such as Boing Boing, Michelangelo’s David ,and the news. Not only does he want to protect the children, he also wants to dress up in diapers and have big old Adult Baby fetish parties with other people in diapers.

As a well-known sex educator points out in the article above, this sort of play is just fine as long as you don’t blur the lines between fantasy and reality in your dealings with actual children. Wait…

L’apres midi d’un dorque

Idling at Kéan with Mike (used to have a big black beard Mike) today, I saw a stream of Newport Beach stereotypes including:

  • 85-year-old man with perfectly trimmed white beard parking a brand new $200,000 200mph Porsche Turbo sports car, which I then observed to have an automatic transmission
  • A young woman of classic magazine cover head-turning beauty accompanied by two rich and tough-looking beefy older guys. The three of them were having a business meeting, no doubt about her career. They toasted one another with Bubble-Up. The two guys looked serious the way Mafia guys look serious. She looked depressed, which in someone with her looks comes out as a pouty, puppyish yearning look. She smiled once, revealing 47 very bright white teeth.
  • This woman’s Ghost of Newport Past showed up, too: a 14-year-old future model, all dressed up in fluffy sweater and tight jeans and slightly-too-grownup heels. Same perfect model face. Her mother was identical and 35, with a very hard and focused look to her.
  • An assortment of very large expensive cars with grilles on the front that looked like BIG MONSTER FANG TEETH MOUTHS. Each of these cars was larger than the others. Several very large diesel trucks driven by small, finely-built men in pressed jeans are included in this category.
  • One 80something gentleman all covered in liver spots and combover who was trying to guide in his friend Mike to the place. He kept getting the names of things wrong, and telling Mike that he wanted to meet him at Plums but they had an hour wait “even after I told them who you ARE”. There were at least five of these calls. Two other people showed up to sit with Liver Spots but Mike never showed. His dog, an ancient cocker spaniel named Annie, was doing about as well as he was and kept walking into things like brick walls and trees and then harrumphing.
  • An outrrrrrageously Italian employee of Kéan. This guy was maybe 30 and looked a lot like Antonio Banderas. He was wearing the kind of lacy, frilly shirt that only guys from the Mediterranean can wear. He was slightly sweaty and had a huge 500,000 watt grin and whooshy airy hair that he held back with a headband. I don’t know how he carried it off, but he was every housewife’s dream European waiter/lover. Jean-Luc!