also from do_not_lick

This article was previously published in the Lifestyle Column of the Gorean Voice. That’s most of what you need to know about Explaining Gor to Loved Ones.

The real question that needs answering is: That’s fine if you’re into BDSM, but why do you have to mix up your sex life with boring shitty series fantasy novels from the 70s?

DougDoug is finding his spiritual path

Combine “A Summoner’s Tale”, the Sloar Speech from Ghostbusters, the SF Channel Mentat Commercial, and every gamer dork ever, and you’ll have the cast of Fear of Girls. These guys are just a little bit too good. Thanks to do_not_lick.

language notes

It’s easy to convert a simple statement into a simple asshole statement. Simply prefix it with “Um”. Try it! It works every time!
The following usage is proscribed and prohibited and will be punished: use of the German word “uber” as a generic comparative or superlative. Examples: “We didn’t want to swear around her because she’s uber religious”; “Of course, if there are things on an uber level that any of you see as problematic, please let me know ASAP so we can figure out the best way to resolve.” The second example arrived in email today and caused me to swear and frighten the cat.
“Righteous” and “self-righteous” do not mean the same thing. A righteous person is one who does the right thing. A self-righteous person is someone who declares him or herself to be righteous, and this usage is pejorative. In short they’re almost opposites. Thanks.
Dear the Kia Company: Like many car manufacturers, you’ve chosen Italianate names for your car. Sorrento is a very nice town and an acceptable name for a carr, but why did you take a letter out and call it the “Sorento”? Was it just to hurt me, every time I see that ad? Was that it? WAS THAT IT?

I DON’T LIKE OFFICE DEPOT ANY MORE

Sometimes a capsulized protein beverage is just a

Um.. capsulized protein beverage is an unconvincing euphemism, guys.

45 YEARS OF CHILDREN BLOWING MEAT WHISTLES

They were hand-delivered to youngsters all over the country by Little Oscar, the diminutive chef and OSCAR MAYER goodwill ambassador who appeared with the WIENERMOBILE at events throughout the 50’s and 60’s. The whistles were even occasionally offered in packages of OSCAR MAYER® Hot Dogs.

Throughout the 80’s, the WIENERWHISTLE seemed to have remained out of the spotlight. But then, another “first” occurred: the WIENERWHISTLE was given a whole new look.

Dug up from a 1999 memepool entry and the always helpful archive.org, THE WIENER WHISTLE HISTORY PAGE

For demedulce and others who asked: sugar-free caramel

This PDF document from SPI Polyols, Inc. explains what a Sugar-Free Caramel is and which kinds of high-impact polystyrene, chrome vanadium alloy steel, high viscosity machine lubrication compounds, and ground rhino horn make the best ones.

Be sure also to read the important PDF titled: DO POLYOLS CAUSE LAXATION?

Torani’s sugar-free caramel syrup has the ingredients: Purified water, natural flavors, sodium benzoate and potassium sorbate (to preserve freshness), citric acid, xanthan gum, sucralose (SPLENDA® Brand), acesulfame potassium.

What… natural… flavors?