I HAVE DIED OF DYSENTERY

ACTUALLY I THINK ZEB GAVE ME THE CHOLERA

Anyway I just had the first real meal in a while, so I think I am coming out of it.

Thank God for miso soup is all I have to say about that.

My rockin’ Friday night will consist of rehydrating and doing work stuff. At least I got my drivers license renewed so I won’t be all illegal. A few more car struggles and I’ll be out of that hole on Monday.

Time for some refreshing… water.

mr pharmacist

The pharmacy just before 6 am. There’s nothing like it! It’s a Hopper painting with bonus bad R&B muzak and the smell of floor cleaner.

I bet this is what Death will be. Slightly dirty white floors, sterile piped-in music, waiting on plastic chairs, bright and cheerful signs about terrible things, and waiting for someone in a white coat to do something about the god-damned pain.

Comic relief: my pharmacist was Mrs.Doubtfire again. It’s not that she’s transgender. This is Southern California and no one cares. It’s that she seems to have modeled herself exactly on La Doubtfire. I was wondering if I would be a victin of a walk-by fruiting as I left.

When the haze of the stupid pain pills disappears I am going on a walk. Yeah, you heard me. A god-damned walk! In the NATURE BITS!

MY WEAK END

I’d love to see people, do things, get out of the house, etc. And I may! But if anyone wants to hang out, you’re driving. My two modes right now are It Hurts To Drive and I Am High On Drugs, and I don’t relish either.

I can walk just fine, though. Maybe I’ll walk down to 17th. Must take the right route, because “Aqua Man” lives around the corner from me now. In the same trailer park as Pirate Phil. Whoof.

Lost in a one story town
Where everything’s close to the ground
Yeah the same shit goes down
Nothing comes around
It’s a one, story. town.

A new disease, just for me.

Spent about an hour in EMDR trying to make the fight-or-flight go away from this week’s joy. Moderate success. Then, off to the doctor. His theory is that there’s a problem with a tiny, tiny electric guitar in my ear. Usually the guitar just strums gently, its strings floating in a slow stream like Monet’s lilies. It sings a happy song that tells my brain that I’m in balance and that my stomach is okay and does not need to be inverted and emptied. Occasionally a chunk of Masonite floats in and crashes into the strings and the guitar starts playing a shitty Ted Nugent song. This causes the brain stem, cerebellum, and other parts of my brain to decide that I’m off balance and have just eaten something nasty. The result is vertigo and explosive vomiting.

Eventually the chunk of Masonite sticks to the banks of the stream or moves on or dissolves and the problem goes away. People get it because they throw their heads backwards, for example in the sink at the hairdresser’s, or on a pillow on their beds. I hadn’t realized that flinging my head back was a hobby of mine.

Of course there’s nothing much to be done about this. One treatment actually consists of flinging your head about in a very supervised manner at the ENT doctor’s office until the Masonite comes loose, but this causes the symptoms to come back in full force even if it works. That sounded awfully Victorian to me.

Since excess fluid in the stream where the tiny electric guitar sits can cause this problem or make it worse, he wants me to take a diuretic, which is a twofer because he also doesn’t like my blood pressure. I don’t like my blood pressure either, but then again I spent the weekend either dry-heaving or being betrayed and/or menaced by mall goths, so maybe it was just a tad higher than usual. But I don’t care if I pee a little more. I’m also supposed to take 50 mg of niacin a day, because that might help too.

my day

After shopping for little computer stuff at Microcenter today, I realized I was very lightheaded and a little dizzy and generally didn’t feel well. I thought I might have a sugar low and went to the car and ate some crackers. And waited to feel better.

I didn’t feel better, and shortly I was violently sick in the parking lot. I still didn’t feel better after two more of those, and then it went into the constant dry heaves. By this time I was so dizzy and sick that any motion, or opening the eyes, or even thinking about anything made me sicker. For an unknown time I was hanging out the door of my car unable to sit back inside or stop dry heaving or open my eyes.

Eventually a Good Samaritan called 911 and stood by watching over me until they got there. I was hauled off to Tustin Hospital in an ambulance. At the ER they rehydrated me and gave me some Phenergan, and eventually I got well enough that I could go home. Many thanks to realitylost for rescuing my car.

No idea what happened really. I’ve had two similar episodes in the past that were much less severe but had the same vertigo/nausea combination.