From New Scientist Technology, your ACME Inc. update

Human cannonballs

The old circus trick of firing a person from a cannon is being considered by the US Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) as a way to get special forces, police officers and fire fighters onto the roofs of tall buildings in a hurry.

A ramp with side rails would be placed on the ground near the target building at an angle of about 80°. A (very brave) person would then sit in a chair, like a pilot’s ejection seat, attached to the ramp.

Compressed air from a cylinder underneath would be rapidly released to shoot the chair up the ramp’s guide rails. At the top the chair would come to an instant halt, leaving the person to fly up and over the edge of the roof, to hopefully land safely on top of the building.

Of course, the trick is to get the trajectory just right. But the DARPA patent suggests a computer could automatically devise the correct angle and speed of ascent. It also claims that a 4-metre-tall launcher could put a man on the top of a 5 storey building in less than 2 seconds. I think I’ll take the stairs.

Read the full patent here.

Source: http://www.newscientisttech.com/article/dn9170-invention-human-cannonballs.html

Email we were happy to receive: SR in LA!

From: Savage Republic

Date: May 2, 2006 7:03 PM
Subject: LA show just confirmed

Savage Republic will be playing our only headlining LA appearance in 2006 on Saturday, June 3rd at LA’s newest club, Safari Sams! We are proud to welcome very special guests and longtime friends, WCKR SPGT (www.wckrspgt.com) There will be another opening band announced very soon.

We will be fresh back from peddling our wares in Greece and should have some suprises in store!

Please check http://www.safari-sams.com for more info and how to purchase your advanced tickets.

You have chosen “Slow and Painful”. Great choice!

retrograde

Fig. 1: A 1977 Mercury Retrograde

I despise astrology, but I’m starting to wonder if they’re right about that whole “Mercury in retrograde” thing. I mean, I’m actually doing okay, better than I have in quite a while. Meanwhile, three-fourths of the people I know are having huge problems: substance abuse relapses, serious legal problems, bad government surprises, social disasters, Bad Love, medical “fun”, surprise pop-up angst toys, Personal Itch, and insurance companies.

When your Mercury goes retrograde, my advice is junk it and buy a Honda before you put any more money in it. That’s what I say.