YOUR ATTEMPT TO IMPRESS THE LADIES HAS FAILED

Hey everybody! Let’s go out to Sutra tonight, get plowed, and impersonate a cop! That always turns the girls’ heads.

COSTA MESA – A 29-year-old Downey man was arrested early today after he reportedly flashed an LAPD-style detective’s badge at police at a nightclub and then later when he was stopped on suspicion of drunken driving.

Pedro R. Davila had approached two uniformed police officers at Sutra, a Costa Mesa nightclub, shown the badge and said he was a Los Angeles Police Department officer assigned to the Downey station. Later the officers realized that Downey has its own police department, said Costa Mesa police Sgt. Mike Ginther.

The same officers later pulled a gray Porsche over when it was observed weaving on the roadway leading to the Costa Mesa (55) Freeway and nearly hit another vehicle, Ginther said.

Davila again showed the badge and said he was an LAPD officer.

Ginther said the suspect was arrested and admitted that he was not a police officer but instead used the badge to impress women. He claimed to have purchased the badge on the Internet. The investigation is continuing.

Davila is being held in the Costa Mesa City Jail on suspicion of impersonating a police officer and driving under the influence of alcohol.

Ten things I do when I’m alone

1. Belch a lot
2. Talk to myself and the cat interchangeably
3. Listen to incredibly cheesy guilty pleasure music on repeat
4. Eat macaroni & cheese
5. Drink a whole bottle of wine and mumble to myself
6. Chase the cat around the house
7. Invent new recipes in the kitchen and often flush them down the sink
8. Spiral into inexplicable depression and self-hatred for hours
9. Feel an even more inexplicable nostalgia for Kansas City
10. Write and then erase what I wrote

Yours? Horked from klikitak

Guaranteed not to contain any chicken jizz

While at Mother’s Market (local health food nut store) today I was browsing around in the My Abdomen Hurts section for charcoal, which I found. I also found all the other stuff that may or may not make one’s abdomen stop hurting: licorice root, ginger, dragon’s foot oil, chelated monkulare niblets, etc. One of these products was listed as being contained in “hexane-free caplets”.

Okay. Hexane is what we usually call “gasoline”. Who the fuck puts gasoline in their medicines? Is this some health food store nutcase fear, or should I be concerned that the Tylenol or the K-Y Jelly or the inferior-brand Daily Vitamins I’m guzzling have Chevron Mid-Grade in them?

guys, we have METH DEALERS in this county

Ticketed for wearing headphones on the BUS?

Previous article on the same subject.

Apparently a “show of force” on the OCTA buses includes harassing people for noncrimes and then questioning their immigration status after harassing them for said noncrimes.

Hey I have a great idea for the OC Sheriffs. Instead of citing Canadians for listening to their iPods on the bus, which is not a crime, why not try cleaning up the various unincorporated areas of the county which are stuffed with freaked out Nazi skinheads using and selling meth? I really doubt the Canadian tourist grooving to String Cheese Incident on the 53 line is going to shiv me out of sheer joie di vivre, and the skinheads creep me out. Thanks.

Little Tykes… …OF DOOM!

The Little Tikes Co. Recalls Animal-Shaped Flashlights Containing Lead Paint Sold at Target

Name of Product: Glowin’ Dino and Glowin’ Doggy Animal Flashlights

Hazard: The light green paint on the dinosaur-shaped flashlight and the brown paint on the dog-shaped flashlight could contain excess levels of lead. Lead is toxic if ingested by young children and can cause adverse health effects.

BEHOLD THE AGENT OF OUR DESTRUCTION:

What happened to high school?

I graduated from high school in 1983. It was a pretty good high school, and I learned a lot there. This was partly because of the accidental presence of some unusually good teachers and partly because California schools were well-funded at the time.

Every day I dragged my ass out of bed and got to school for morning classes. With lunch and a couple breaks I did school stuff until 3something. This was an iron rule. Some kids with more money left campus during lunch to go to a restaurant or something, but most of us just didn’t leave campus at all. When there was a hole in the schedule in senior year, I got stuffed into “study hall”, where I read.

We had a lot to do. There was homework every day, and assigned reading and exercises from our textbooks, which we took home. There were frequent tests and projects. At the end of junior senior year, too, there were a few Advanced Placement tests. Since I was doing pretty well academically I took AP classes and passed I think three of these tests. I worked harder and learned more in my senior year in high school than I did in my first quarter at UCLA.

If you left campus, it was likely someone would notice and you’d get in trouble. We had a legendary vice principal, Jack “Bring ’em Back” King, who would drive down to the beach and haul surfer truants out of the water, stuff them in his Chevy, and put them , dripping and sullen, in class complete with wetsuits. School was pretty serious business.

There were the requisite number of hack teachers and administrators, some classes that were worse than useless, a fair amount of wastes of time, and the other things one expects from that level of education, but mostly a student went there all day, learned all day, and went home and did homework for a few hours daily.

My friends from around here who are 30 or younger went to a different kind of high school, and I’m not sure why.

First of all, attendance is optional now. The kids may be in class, or they may be at home, or on vacation with their parents, or doing some project or other, or just… not around. Kids can barely attend some class the whole semester and pass it. I see high school kids shopping at some mall at 11 am on a Tuesday. If their parents are going to Maui for a few days in February, they just pull the kids out and go. One high school here instituted a “ski week” because everyone disappeared that week every year anyway, and tried to tack the days on the end of the year. There was no decrease in days lost.

Since Proposition 13 (please see my screed here from a while back if you don’t know what that is), there’s been less and less money for education. Quite often there aren’t enough textbooks for the students, and more often than not there aren’t enough for students to take them home. I don’t understand how you do math homework in that situation. The non-sports extracurricular activities, especially music, are gone, so those are off campus. There seem to be less classes generally, so junior and seniors have these big gaps in their days, and no one locks them up in the study hall. It’s easier to take classes in college simultaneously (this is a good thing!), so many students go back and forth between two campuses. And finally the enforced extracurricular activities like D.A.R.E., required “community service”, kareer kounseling krap, and whatever latest Young Pioneers thing is they’re being forced to do takes hours out of the school day.

It doesnt seem like there’s that much homework, either. Kids cram for the AP tests (which give them higher than perfect GPAs, another bizarro new thing), but their own classes and homework they view with scorn.

From my outsider’s eye it looks like kids from 14-18 are just doing less school overall, and not doing so in any structured way. Some of this is good news. Study Hall was a horrible waste of time, and going to college classes instead of high school ones must be awesome if you’re academically interested.

With all the blather about how our children is not being educatated, though, it’s weird to see the kids spending less time in school total, less of that time being taught, less homework, less resources to actually learn (hello, books?), and less supervision of any kind.

And the teachers just suck. Horribly. This whole train of thought was started by a high-school age friend telling me that her English teacher borrowed her Spark Notes for Samuel Beckett because she didn’t know that stuff.

Credit Card Chaos update

I did as bigraoul suggested and put the fraud watch on my account with one of the big three credit agencies. Now if someone wants to open a credit account with my info the merchant has to verify it more carefully. For anyone else interested, the info for US people is at http://www.consumer.gov/idtheft/con_steps.htm

Special note to douglain: One of the charges I accidentally listed as fraudulent was the Amazon charge for ordering your book. This may lead to literary/financial/bureaucratic yucks later on as I try to rectify this. Watch out for black helicopters; there’s no telling how far They will go investigating these things.

In related news I recently got a credit card from Robinsons-May, one of our local department store chains. The information that came with the card listed two possible interest rates that might apply to it, without specifying which was currently mine. There was also no credit limit listed. Hey, I think I’ll go buy a suit that I may not be allowed to buy, and in doing so take out a loan at an unknown rate! I LIKE SHOPPING!

Non-bodacious Tata

Nice to see the fine tradition of indentured servitude that brought my ancestors here in 1750 is still continuing!

Company sued for allegedly making workers turn over tax refunds

JULIANA BARBASSA
Associated Press

SAN FRANCISCO – An Indian employee of an information technology consulting company filed a lawsuit Tuesday alleging he and other foreign workers were required to give their employers their tax return checks.

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