Guaranteed not to contain any chicken jizz

While at Mother’s Market (local health food nut store) today I was browsing around in the My Abdomen Hurts section for charcoal, which I found. I also found all the other stuff that may or may not make one’s abdomen stop hurting: licorice root, ginger, dragon’s foot oil, chelated monkulare niblets, etc. One of these products was listed as being contained in “hexane-free caplets”.

Okay. Hexane is what we usually call “gasoline”. Who the fuck puts gasoline in their medicines? Is this some health food store nutcase fear, or should I be concerned that the Tylenol or the K-Y Jelly or the inferior-brand Daily Vitamins I’m guzzling have Chevron Mid-Grade in them?

10 thoughts on “Guaranteed not to contain any chicken jizz

  1. also pentane
    I couldn’t say for sure, but I know that hexane is often used for extraction.
    I knew a soap and perfume maker whose white whale was to find a non-hexane-based way to extract floral essences.
    I wouldn’t be at all suprised if some of the plant extracts at the health food store contained traces of hexane.
    But a little bit probably won’t hurt ya.

  2. Oy….
    http://www.jtbaker.com/msds/englishhtml/H2381.htm
    Emergency Overview
    ————————–
    DANGER! EXTREMELY FLAMMABLE LIQUID AND VAPOR. VAPOR MAY CAUSE FLASH FIRE. HARMFUL OR FATAL IF SWALLOWED. HARMFUL IF INHALED. CAUSES IRRITATION TO SKIN, EYES AND RESPIRATORY TRACT. AFFECTS THE CENTRAL AND PERIPHERAL NERVOUS SYSTEMS.

    Makes me wonder what sort of damage “fire breathers” get, over time…
    Hugs,
    L

    1. Re: Oy….
      Well, if a fire breather used hexane, he or she would be fatally damaged right away. Gasoline is incredibly dangerous. Don’t they use alcohol?

  3. Hexane isn’t really gasoline. It is however, a solvent used to break apart compounds that water itself can’t do. C6H14 vs Octane (the component in gasoline) C8H18. I’m betting the Hexane is used just in the production of some medications… or new age remedies as its used to extract vegetable oils. Organic Chemistry For The Win!!!

  4. secret ingredients
    Both men’s hair dye and spermicide contain nonoxynol-9
    Though discovering a man dyes his hair could be an effective form of birth control.

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