…we came.
Tag: hellraiser
Sentence of the Week: Rats In Your Mouth
“The defendants so literally ignored the needs of their residents, and most specifically Sigmund Bock, as to allow vermin in the form of a rat to become lodged in the mouth of Sigmund Bock and die therein,” the lawsuit read.
Rat Dies in Man’s Mouth, from the Orange County Register.
My complication had a little complication
Well, it’s that time of year.
There’s a touch of frost in the air, it isn’t quite Halloween, and we’re all flat broke. Therefore it’s Christmas Season, and I’m delighted to be the first to inaugurate it here on the LJ. I know some of you are going to say it’s too soon, but if you really thought about it, you’d realize you want it to be Christmas all the time. Sure you do. Anyway, that magical time of year has come in which Santas on TV sell you subprime mortgages and inflatable pools, out-of-work actors in Dickensian clothing serenade you with faith-neutral carols outside the Chick Fil-A in the food court, and HR emails you jingly-bell clipart that blows up Windows.
To kick things off properly, I’d like to remind everyone that He knows when you are Good or Bad, so be Good for Goodness Sakes. (Crude Flash, ~9 meg) Or you will suffer beyond your wildest imaginings.
Wassail, wassail!
Hellraiser: A Skin Creme for Men
The Guardian reports that the Chinese government is making cosmetic products out of the skin of executed prisoners.
After I finished retching and clawing at my face, I composed myself and thought “Hmm, there must be some way to get in on this one.” I figure there are going to be more executions here, mostly of younger people, and increasingly by lethal injection which leaves things looking good. One problem is that our Death Row population is mostly dark brown and our high-end cosmetics buyer tends to be light pink. I’m not sure whether we’re going to go with bleaching the convicts or just selling the products to tanning salons as Jared suggested.
Product name suggestions are Justice: Strong Supple Skin for Him and Lifeskin Recyclables Body Rejuvenator.
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