SEARSFAIL

I got this email from Sears today:

WHOOPS! The email we sent you Monday had the wrong TV offer in it! We are not offering a Panasonic 54″ class 1080p 600Hz plasma HDTV for $399.99. We apologize for this mistake and assure you that we are taking every step to make sure it doesn?t happen again.

The offer that we currently have is a Panasonic 54″ class 1080p 600Hz plasma HDTV for $1099.99.

Some Thad or Tad or Katie or Caitlin “Email Blast Coordinator” didn’t enhance revenue today.

Annals of Commerce: Holiday Specials

My project this season is to collect the weirdest holiday sales pitches, i.e., the ones that have to stretch the most to associate themselves with any of the possible Fall and Winter holidays. So far I have:

  • Buddhist teacher selling “holiday” cards to somehow assist children in African country
  • “Celebrate and give thanks all week in EverQuest® with 25% Bonus Station Cashâ„¢ and Increased faction hits all around Norrath!”
  • Ham radio tree ornaments from the American Radio Relay League.

Please drop any good ones you find in the comments. I’m sure there will be some winners.

Paragraph cut and pasted without comment

I am the founder of Raising Kings Market Place Ministry, The Pastor of Sutter Baptist Church and author of Give Real Hope. I have worked in many industries. I was the owner of a Mortgage Banking company, Real Estate Agent, Painting Contractor Company. My focus is expanding the kingdom of God. Raising Kings is the Hub for many industries: Real Estate, Humanitarian Efforts, Arts, Movies, government, Entertainment and much more. We are a marketplace ministry. We’d like to help you connect with the right industry the right people and the right resources for you to live your dream. Within Raising Kings Market Place Ministry I am currently working on promoting a New Reality TV show, Promoting Sylvester & Jennifer Stallone’s new company and expanding the kingdom of God. My vision is to empower people with tools and resources to expand the kingdom of God upon this earth. I work for God and I am here to serve you. What’s your dream? It’s all about empowering YOU with everything you need to live your DREAM. Do Rare Extraordinary Actions Mentally. Let’s talk! Let’s get connected. Let’s Give Real Hope. GIVE….Godly Investments Valued Eternally. REAL….Real Estate Asset Leveraging…..HOPE….Helping Others Prosper Economically. So let’s http://www.giverealhope.com today.

from Raising Kings Marketplace

Also we recommend feng shui if your teeth fell out

My health “insurer,” Blue Shield of California, just sent me a helpful note about anxiety.

They point out that we’re all anxious because of “recent world events,” and that’s normal.

They then go on to suggest every possible solution for mental distress that does not cost them money. Included are: homeopathy (!!!) which can “bring temporary relief.”

Also included are “Complementary and alternative health” solutions which are all very inexpensive and not covered by any insurance.

It’s a wonder they don’t just tell people to drink.

I await their instructions on setting your broken leg with reiki, wearing magnetic pants to reduce arthritis, and the magic of going overseas to get health care where they don’t have to hear about it.

Fuckers.