Tag: commerce
Advertising Scans for Friday
A sausage company attacks vegetarianism and commits unintentional goatse, and the makers of a sleep drug appear to be selling a powerful hallucinogen. It’s all behind the cut!
RIAA, 1700
This mode of travelling, which by Englishmen of the present day would be regarded as insufferably slow, seemed to our ancestors wonderfully and indeed alarmingly rapid. In a work published a few months before the death of Charles the Second, the flying coaches are extolled as far superior to any similar vehicles ever known in the world. Their velocity is the subject of special commendation, and is triumphantly contrasted with the sluggish pace of the continental posts. But with boasts like these was mingled the sound of complaint and invective. The interests of large classes had been unfavourably affected by the establishment of the new diligences; and, as usual, many persons were, from mere stupidity and obstinacy, disposed to clamour against the innovation, simply because it was an innovation. It was vehemently argued that this mode of conveyance would be fatal to the breed of horses and to the noble art of horsemanship; that the Thames, which had long been an important nursery of seamen, would cease to be the chief thoroughfare from London up to Windsor and down to Gravesend; that saddlers and spurriers would be ruined by hundreds; that numerous inns, at which mounted travellers had been in the habit of stopping, would be deserted, and would no longer pay any rent; that the new carriages were too hot in summer and too cold in winter; that the passengers were grievously annoyed by invalids and crying children; that the coach sometimes reached the inn so late that it was impossible to get supper, and sometimes started so early that it was impossible to get breakfast. On these grounds it was gravely recommended that no public coach should be permitted to have more than four horses, to start oftener than once a week, or to go more than thirty miles a day. It was hoped that, if this regulation were adopted, all except the sick and the lame would return to the old mode of travelling. Petitions embodying such opinions as these were presented to the King in council from several companies of the City of London, from several provincial towns, and from the justices of several counties. We Smile at these things. It is not impossible that our descendants, when they read the history of the opposition offered by cupidity and prejudice to the improvements of the nineteenth century, may smile in their turn.
— The History of England from the Accession of James II
Have you come here to give cheezits to the lamers in your head
The new best corporate anthem ever is courtesy the Bank of America and it is here:
http://www.vimeo.com/clip:114601
I never knew a merger could be such a spiritual thing and so full of longing.
Also, although I am from Orange County, CA I have never in my life seen anything this white.
Apocalypse at the CVS
I went to my pharmacy today, which is usually a nucking fightmare. Nothing’s ever ready, the computer takes forever, the insurance info is wrong, and there’s always someone screaming at the staff.
Today the computer was slow, as usual. The woman filling my script just kept typing and typing and typing, and I remarked that she seemed to be typing in the entire chemical structure of the drug. There was a guy in a tie just sort of hanging out in the background and he laughed. Then it appeared he was watching what the staff was doing, and occasionally he’d step in to show them something on the computer or to ask what the pharmacy assistants were doing.
Turns out he was the Efficiency Expert and I.T. guy. But, unlike every other one of those I’ve met, he was really good. Pleasant, observant, helpful, and very interested in making things work better. He’d already set up both the computers and the staff process so that people actually there in the store waiting were at the head of the queue, which incredibly had never been done before. He was also there to prepare the staff for the new computer system, which he said was “more drop downs, less typing, and easier.”
Then he stopped me on the way out to ask how well they’d done. The answer was perfectly: my two prescriptions were done in 10 minutes.
Now if I could only get a plan where it didn’t cost me hundreds of dollars a month to get the meds I need…
It’s beginning to look a lot like…
It’s got to be that time again. The crisp air, the evergreen smells, the approaching drums of advertising… Could it be, already? Is it upon us so soon? Why yes! It’s time once again for the annual
WAR ON CHRISTMAS!

chaaaaarge
Uhh. Apple?

The Apple Store in Costa Mesa had a sign outside the store advertising a “Ladies’ Night.” It appears to be some kind of “outreach to women” thing. It isn’t clear whether the event itself is going to be useful, but they really could have chosen a better name for it. Really they could.
But he’s a millionaire!
According to the Register, a Mr. Joseph Garcia is currently in jail here on a million dollars bail for rape and sexual assault of at least three women. Mr. Garcia’s M.O. was to go on a date, take her home, and jump her. This is apparently not recommended in that he could get up to 45 years if convicted. And where did he get his dates? One just at the post office, and the others at MillionaireMatch.com!
Don’t worry, gals. Not all of the local real estate millionaires are rapists.
Edit: From the millionaire dating service site itself: “If the site is slow at this moment, come back early morning or late night. It may be due to the recent publicity about a major Hollywood celebrity having found a match here.” Yes, or…
Register story is here:
http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/homepage/abox/article_1328764.php
Dept of not getting it
And on the left side of the plane if you’ll look out you can see a sick man, a beggar, and a corpse…

I guess I hadn’t considered the Thrill of Mortgage as an option

But this job ad in “Squeeze OC” is convincing. Speaking of Squeeze OC, they were having a fashion show in the strip-mall denim store next to Kean as I left there tonight. It was just starting to roll as I fled. They were blasting “Lust for Life” and the DJ was instructing everyone to “gather round the runway.” Bro and ho types were sipping wine from plastic cups and gazing across the street at… the other strip mall. I left before America’s Next Medium To Low Models began striding about in $500 jeans.