Wild and Wooly Semiautomatic Truck Bomb

I went to Kéan today to get more coffee beans. They have the La Lucie, meaning the real La Lucie the way it used to be. Recommend you pick some up if you’re local and like that dark roast Zimbabwean thing.

Neurofeedback today. Brainwaves are getting better (higher beta, lower theta, less gap between).

I thought for two hours that I had lost my “check card” VISA. I hadn’t. It was caught in a snag in a jacket pocket, having fallen out of my wallet.

I read most of the rest of Hardcore Zen today. It’s a damned good book. Thanks, hweimei for the recommendation!

At the angle I can see her, my sleeping cat currently looks like a fuzzy spheroid without features.

unhappy languishment.

Posted by a del.icio.us spammer in the “biofeedback” tag stream today:

Biofeedback best for common type of constipationSunday 9th April 2006 23:38:28

Reuters – in fashion YORK (Reuters Health) – Study findings testify that biofeedback is far more effective exclusive of laxatives present-time relieving choking caused by unhappy languishment or unintelligence in passage to consider the circumstances the pelvic floor muscles during defecation — what doctors …

It’s on one of those circle-jerk search engine jamming sites, but the odd part is the language. The poster is Korean but the news item appears to have been telephoned through multiple languages. Sorry about the unintelligence in passage.

area man survives social event

I went to a party last night and it wasn’t a failure!

This is good, because parties have traditionally either totally alienated me, or hyped me up followed by a nasty crash afterwards. At this one I just had conversations with some nice, interesting people and then went home and went to bed.

There were musician guys there with rock ‘n’ roll hair but they were the thoughtful and well-educated kind and not yahoos. People were interested in ideas and things, and no one got sloppy drunk and in my face. Also, my Enron shirt was a hit.

It occurs to me that the resilience I’m acquiring through NFB is useful in these social situations so I am not one large nerve and I don’t get weird blowback effects afterwards.

Oh, and there was Stilton with apricot in it.

I did have one embarrassing moment when I introduced myself to someone who’d introduced himself about 45 minutes before. Fortunately I could tell this was a cognitive effect of treatment since it was so unusual, and he was interested in the explanation rather than totally offended.

And now, photo time.

a darkling plain where dudes are being totally uncool to each other

I think it’s time to get my dietary stuff back in line right now. I had no breakfast, no lunch, and two dinners today. Mind you they were good dinners and a right amount of food but this isn’t going to work.

Saw Stuart play and some friends tonight. Everyone was cool but for some reason I felt totally socially awkward, like I wasn’t wearing pants. Weird. I think it was just me, though.

Then salome_st_john put up the bat signal that she was about to murder her room mate for reals so I galumphed over there and we went to Kappo Honda (dinner #2). I have to say that lotus root tempura and pumpkin croquette are two of Japanese civilization’s great contributions to the world.

I love this rain.

Not addressed to anyone who’ll read this

Once again this week (not in this forum) I’ve run into the triumphantly ignorant mindset that mental illness and neurological problems aren’t diseases, that people with these problems are not worthy of medical attention, that anyone who hasn’t triumphed over head problems by sheer force of will and/or approved religious or 12 step methods is a weakling, and that people with mental problems are making up stuff.

These people are almost exactly equivalent to those who think that homosexuality is a choice. Somewhere between that and the people who don’t believe in germ theory because germs are really small and you can’t see them.

I can identify a few fallacies that keep recurring when I run into this mindset. Most of them are variations on generalization. They are:

  • Mildly neurotic people annoyingly claim mental problems as an excuse for their behavior, although they could in fact be less annoying pretty easily. Therefore, everyone who has bigtime head problems is also doing this and should just stop being weird already.
  • My own experience with drug addiction/neurotic behavior/weird mental blocks was resolved with 12-step groups/just getting over it/moving to a different town and therefore any other person’s head problems, no matter how different or how much more extreme, should be solved this way too. Otherwise they’re not trying.
  • Drug companies make a lot of money selling lifestyle drugs, and often create new ailments or over-market medications. Therefore, anyone who takes medication for any neurologic or psychiatric problem is making a mistake, because nothing sold by these companies is useful or necessary.
  • I knew someone once who had a lot of head problems and she tried a lot of things to fix it and nothing worked and she didn’t get better and was really annoying. Therefore no kind of medical or psychological intervention works and people with mental problems are tiresome losers.
  • People with head problems are choosing this lifestyle to get sympathy and because it agrees with them somehow, and they’re using medications as a crutch instead of choosing to be healthy, like me. Therefore they are weak and worthy of scorn.
  • Problems that affect behavior and personality should not be treated as diseases or treatable problems. They should be treated in the old-fashioned way as character flaws and sins, and people who exhibit them should be punished, shunned, shamed, and mocked. Only deluded softies and hypnotized idiots believe otherwise. Nothing like this has ever happened to me or anyone I like, the problem can’t be seen with the naked eye, and I keep being told by authority figures who annoy me that it’s happening. Therefore these problems don’t exist, and I’m a unique and beautiful snowflake for standing up to this nonsense. I know this is true because a loud person on the radio said so.

This is all medieval horseshit. I’d like to find the source of it, because it’s both pre-scientific and new. It’s as though someone merged L. Ron Hubbard and Bill O’Reilly and treated this mutant as a medical authority.

Admittedly everyone is insane to some degree about mental health, the way everyone is insane about food and sex and education. But this shit is just off the map. It’s aggressively proud ignorance. I want to collar all these people and take them to a “Scared Straight” tour of the local mental health facilities so they can see how bad it gets.

“Bipolar” isn’t your moody ex boyfriend who used that as an excuse for the time he fucked your sister. It’s people driving from San Diego to Maine for no reason and changing their name eight times along the way. “Phobia” isn’t that woman at your office who hates spiders. It’s someone who has to spend two days in her room if she sees one. And “depressed” isn’t the showy Goth you went to junior college with who wrote sad poetry in large black letters. It’s people who can’t get out of bed or clothe themselves or do anything except wish they were dead for years and years on end. This shit is real, assholes, and it kills and ruins lives.

Shitting on the people it’s happening to just because their lives are outside your cramped imagination is quite literally adding insult to injury, and you ought to be ashamed of yourselves. You should also put down the talk radio and read a fucking book now and then.