It’s a mallomar, i guess that’s what i’m describing

Where the worlds of pants-filling terror and head-throbbing annoyance meet: ACTION MOVIE MARKETING:

SANTA CLARITA, Calif. (AP) — A newspaper promotion for Tom Cruise’s upcoming “Mission: Impossible III” got off to an explosive start when a county arson squad blew up a news rack, thinking it contained a bomb.

The confusion: the Los Angeles Times rack was fitted with a digital musical device designed to play the “Mission: Impossible” theme song when the door was opened. But in some cases, the red plastic boxes with protruding wires were jarred loose and dropped onto the stack of newspapers inside, alarming customers…


As several people have pointed out, there ain’t no such thing as an accidental shooting. If you shoot someone, the best you can hope for is a verdict of negligence. The first law of firearms is: Yes, the gun is loaded.1 You keep your finger off the trigger, you don’t point at your friends, you don’t point at things behind which you have friends.

If you give your hunting buddy a birdshot facial, you broke some of those rules.

He should be forced to do embarrassing public service announcements about the topic.

Maybe dressed up in a fairy suit. “Hi there. I’m Dick Cheney, and I’m dressed up as one of the Ammo Fairies to make a point. You know, the Ammo Fairies? They go around putting ammunition in unloaded guns when no one is looking. That means you should always assume a gun is loaded! Some folks may think the Ammo Fairies don’t really exist, but people who believe in them live longer than people who don’t! Ho, ho, ho! Time for me to buzz off! Just remember: follow the rules, and you won’t end up on national TV in a god-damned fairy suit!”

1This is parallel to the First Law of Chemistry which states: Yes, the Glass is Hot

The shooter, a member of the Dumbass-American Community…

Sometimes the kids and their subcultures should be ignored. I mean, you know, your kid is gonna be a goth or something, it happens, they’re all angsty, and then they get their AA and learn drywall or something and just start drinking like you.

Or then there’s the other times, when the neo-nazi gaybashing satanic evil clown rap/metal stupidocrat ultraviolence culture they’re immersed in turns out to be for real.