Today’s recruiter email

This is unedited with the exception of removing names and adding a few [sic]. Note to recruiters: If you’re copy/pasting the same thing to 200 people you’re shotgun-emailing, try spellchecking at least first. Measure once, cut twice, and all that. Quadruple-spaced semiliterate notes with bad spelling and technical errors and four or five exclamation points at the end of each phrase give people the creeps.

My name is [redacted] and I am a senior technical recruiter with [redacted]. I was contacting you today in regards to an exciting opportunity that I have for you.

Linux Administrator

HOT OPPORTUITIES!!!! [sic] High profile company in the financial industries!!!!! [sic] HOT TECHNOLGY!!!![sic] LARGE IT BUDGET!!!!

Experience administering Red Hat Linux in an enterprise environment

Must have expereince[sic] with PERL[sic], Borne[sic] or Shell Scripting

Team oriented, flexible, Subject Matter Expert in some Linux area

Must have experience supporting database applications

Must have a background in Oracle on top of Linux

Red Hat Certification is a HUGE plus

Will be responsible for OS level support

Please contact me when you get a chance, I would like to find out more about your background and experience.

My Working Life: Jerrold

Jerrold (not his real name) was a coworker at the hospital. He was a trim, slightly built black man in his late forties with thinning hair. He and I were both transcriptionists and later I was his supervisor.

Jerrold clearly had high standards for his own behavior. He was invariably polite and friendly to everyone. If a contentious question arose he would find a way to bow out, and it was hard to drag a critical statement out of him about anyone. A few times someone played a prank on him and he just grinned for about an hour. The only time he was really concerned or upset at work was when we had a crazy prejudiced lady working there who made accusations (that’s another story), and when he realized no one was going to listen to her he went back to his phlegmatic self.

He’d gone into the service during the Vietnam War and done a tour overseas with the Air Force. He was in a group that was sent behind enemy lines to retrieve airmen, and it’s clear he had a rough war. After he got out of the service he went to work as a police dispatcher, working 12 hour days seven days a week. He then spent ten years as a Los Angeles bus driver. These experiences gave him a lot of stories to relate. Because life as a black man in Los Angeles is also bizarre and stressful, he had some stories like that, and some others about his family, all of which were extremely dramatic. But Jerrold told them in a curiously flat way. He had a kind of Midwestern male reserve that did not allow his voice to raise, or his tone to become excited, or even his adjectives to get terribly descriptive. This made the stories punch harder, because he was so clearly just relating a series of facts. I’ll try to recreate a couple of them.

Stories

Popery.

I just got The Pope‘s album in the mail today. Now I like them more than ever. Lots of screaming and smashing and loud guitars. Another thing they remind me of is the Three Johns. Or maybe if the Pixies got very, very, very, very wasted and turned up too high.

If you like noisy, exuberant music or if you just enjoy falling downstairs into the lawnmower, buy the damned thing