As usual, I could have predicted most of this last week’s fun on NFB-related changes and side effects, especially what was euphemistically described as a “stiffening of resolve” and the 12 straight hours of fight-or-flight mode. I sure as hell hope this thing has something like the promised results because it’s about as much fun as frying bacon in the nude. Today’s poll is on the subject: what the fuck is this going to do to me next, and what’ll happen THEN? Enjoy!
apology
My apologies to Laura and Erin for the earlier lashing out. It wasn’t helpful for you or anyone else. If it was hurtful I apologize doubly.
Eventually I’ll learn when to use the inside voice. I’m only 41.
Spam just arrived
From: etheraealnetrlji@edirect-broadcast.com
Subject: The Moon And The Planets, Virtually
Date: January 28, 2006 10:56:40 AM PST
To: conrad@fringehead.org
The Galactic Government in exclusive partnership Ethereal Network Solutions. and utilizing their registration and registry systems (http://www.etherealnet.com) and the Lunar Embassy (www.lunarembassy.com), have entered into a historic agreement.
THE WORLD’S FIRST EXTRATERRESTRIAL INTERNET
The future is steam.
I for one welcome our new radio controlled centipede/tank/crab overlords.
positively 21st st
I forgot that having alcohol near bed time always makes me wake up early. Even a little and GOOD MORNING! I’M ALL PERKY AT 0600!
For the 20th anniversary of the Challenger explosion I think maybe I’ll go get a balsa wood glider and attach a firecracker to it, and then throw it and yell OBVIOUSLY A MAJOR MALFUNCTION! just as it goes off.
Last night’s dinner came out really well. A black japonica/brown rice blend, steamed broccoli with ginger and black pepper, and hot wing “drummettes”. Tonight I think is soup night. I’ll go to Growers Ranch and see what kind of veg-eatables they have that look most soupworthy.
The Rich Girls Are Weeping has an mp3 in advance of Neko Case’s new CD!
Here’s a really long, weird list of new magazines last year courtesy Robotwisdom.com
hi.
PUNCHSK
Wild milk from the mighty sierras
The PETA people, with their usual combination of flair and insanity, are going after milk again, this time with the Milk Gone Wild site.
I immediately thought of another angle. I could sell “wild milk” to yuppie foodie types. I would certify that that no tame farm animal produced this milk. Instead, I and my friends would hike deep into the wilderness in search of lactating mammals which we would overpower and forcibly milk. We would then bring this precious ambrosia back to civilization and charge amounts per ounce in the single malt scotch/perfume range. Or higher, really. I doubt we could get more than a couple of gallons of milk in a very successful trip so we’d need to charge serious cash.
But think about it. Wild Milk!
If we got enough on a trip to make butter or cheese, we could make tiny amounts of that and sell it for even more, because we had declared this batch to be a rare and sought-after Wild Butter Catch.
I’d have to do some research and find out what the best animals would be on the scale of amount of milk produced versus size, danger, and rarity of the creatures where I was hunting. Ideally it would be a critter we could hold down and milk without tranquilizers because no one wants Immobilon in their milk.
via mendel Tattoos, brain surgery, and parachutes
Woman With Tattoo From Homemade Gun Got Sick
SPRINGFIELD, Mo. — Some women in Springfield are regretting their decision last week to get a tattoo from a door-to-door tattoo salesman. At least one person had to be hospitalized and the others face serious health risks.
Friday night, a man knocked on doors holding a tattoo gun and offering his services. Tamra Eason described the tool as homemade, but still agreed to pay for a tattoo. So did two other women in her apartment complex.
“It was wrapped with black tape, had a pin underneath it, had fishing wire going through it, you could tell it was a homemade gun,” Eason said.
The next day, Linda Falls passed out and had to be hospitalized.
“I passed out in the store and they said I should have it checked out,” Falls said.
All the women have an infection in the tattoo area and have been told to get tested for HIV and hepatitis.
The health department said it’s always worth the extra money to get a tattoo from a licensed professional with the right equipment and sterilization procedures.
“Getting a tattoo is like a wound. There’s a risk of disease that may be long term or life threatening. It’s a serious decision,” said Jaci McReynalds, with the Greene County Health Department.
It is illegal in Missouri to give a tattoo without a license, so if several people file complaints with the state, the county prosecutor will pursue the case.
“Beware of deals in parachutes, brain surgery and tattoos,” said Miller Cotton, a tattoo parlor owner.
“We just wanted tattoos, and now we’re paying for it,” Eason said.
We would also drink red flavored punch beverages
When I was in sixth grade, I’d go to my friend Jamie’s house after school sometimes. Jamie’s parents weren’t around after school. We would cook up a can of Chef Boy-ar-dee ravioli and go up in his room. The room had a cool loft in it, and we’d climb up there. We would play records and look at dirty magazines while eating our Chef Boy-Ar-Dee. I remember looking at all this weird crap in the dirty magazines like dildoes and ball-stretchers and various other things that you stick in people or have people whack you with. We didn’t understand any of it but pretended to each other that we did.
Jamie had a record player in his room, too, so we listened to stuff. Mostly we listened to whatever we weren’t supposed to, so dirty comedy was the #1 choice. A personal favorite of his was “The Crepitation Contest” which was all about farting. Also there was some Monty Python.
And then we’d listen to some ELO. Which is why Matthew Sweet’s version of “Do Ya” triggered this memory.
Weird thing is, I still like Chef Boy-Ar-Dee ravioli although I know it’s shit.
As promised, Stahl delivers the coup de grace on Frey
FREE JAMES FREY! In defense of the post-truth memoir
Why bother with accuracy when the feelings are real? Was it three hours in an empty office, or three months behind bars? Doesn’t matter! What the writer felt when the stuff that really happened was going on is exactly the same as what his character feels when stuff that didn’t really happen goes on in the book. And that’s what the reader feels. Keep up with me here…
Be My Blog 