Wild milk from the mighty sierras

The PETA people, with their usual combination of flair and insanity, are going after milk again, this time with the Milk Gone Wild site.

I immediately thought of another angle. I could sell “wild milk” to yuppie foodie types. I would certify that that no tame farm animal produced this milk. Instead, I and my friends would hike deep into the wilderness in search of lactating mammals which we would overpower and forcibly milk. We would then bring this precious ambrosia back to civilization and charge amounts per ounce in the single malt scotch/perfume range. Or higher, really. I doubt we could get more than a couple of gallons of milk in a very successful trip so we’d need to charge serious cash.

But think about it. Wild Milk!

If we got enough on a trip to make butter or cheese, we could make tiny amounts of that and sell it for even more, because we had declared this batch to be a rare and sought-after Wild Butter Catch.

I’d have to do some research and find out what the best animals would be on the scale of amount of milk produced versus size, danger, and rarity of the creatures where I was hunting. Ideally it would be a critter we could hold down and milk without tranquilizers because no one wants Immobilon in their milk.

14 thoughts on “Wild milk from the mighty sierras

    How bout Tasmanian Bettogs? http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=12624650&dopt=Abstract
    I bet these guys are used to getting tackled and milked.

  2. Regardless of what one thinks/feels/believes about “Peta”..It’s astonishing that the human species, is still consuming animals or any animal products in this day & age.

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