Category: Uncategorized

tick tick tick

It appears that I am 38.

I got some nice gifts, including the new Eco book (thanks meta_kate and brienigma!), a history of food, a device that records 40 seconds of me talking, and a CHEESE SLICER (thanks friendly_bandit!).

I had a good meal too at the local fancy french joint, our family’s traditional special occasion restaurant. I’m financially well off, mostly healthy, not dead yet. Ok, I’ll take it.

I’m pretty much still 22. Stopped there. I have no particular direction, no wife or girlfriend, no household of my own. I wonder if this just continues?

I scratch another year on the cell wall and look up at the sunlight coming through the bars…

miscellany, congeries, plethora, cornucopia, stuff!

On the freeway just now I was cut off by the typical big raised pickup, and the guy had trucknutz. I wonder if I should start making large sagging misshapen breasts to stick on minivans in retort? By the way, gals: “TruckNutz.com is looking for 12 hot ladies to model for the TruckNutz.com calendar next year.”

The worst pervo site ever is boytaur. As much as I am super tolerant of other people’s fetishes, etc etc, these people need to be cleansed with fire. Mostly because of the bad photoshopping, though, I think.

The other day on the way home there was a big tanker truck from Praxair in front of me. They ship things like liquid gases. A large hissing roaring fountain of STUFF was coming off the top of the truck and the guy was pulling off the freeway. I really hope it was just liquid nitrogen cooking off.

I got the rest of the complete works of Scenic in the mail from Parasol. I’m so happy! I thought Incident at Cima was going to be impossible to find. Not only do I love that surf/Morricone/spanish desert atmospheric thing they do, but as I keep forgetting my friend Mark is in the band, and he’s not only a great guitar player but a nice guy too. Ferdinand is playing this weekend; maybe I’ll see him and I can give him a big HUG or something.

This is your Captain shrieking courtesy of marm0t.

Tonight is the company holiday party. It’s at the lot, so lots of security will be present, strip search, metal detector in my hoohoo, etc. I hope the hors d’oeuvres are worth it.

One of my mom’s friends just dropped dead, and under depressing circumstances too. I bought mom some Almond Roca last night and made her cry (in a good way). Turns out that’s what her dad always bought her as a special gift as a kid.

I have discovered my least favorite music: Christmas R&B. You know, the kind of too many yodelly notes fuck-me R&B? Except Christmasy. OOOOOHOHOHOWOWOWWO BAAAAYBEEE IT’S CHRISTMAAAAS AND YOOUUUOUOUOUO AREN’T HEEEEEREEREEEREEE fuck you shuddup. MC Grinch is in the house, bring on the noise, none of that pussy shit for me.

Last item: Walnut gorgonzola tortellini rule.

Sunday in the park with goons

I often sit at Diedrich’s on a weekend afternoon reading or just drinking something and relaxing. It’s a good place to be. On Sundays, historically there have been one or more pyramid schemes being sold, probably at after-church gatherings, which is pretty good eavesdropping.

This Sunday, I sat next to Bearded Religious Guy, who is a regular. He’s usually with a younger man who is thoroughly insane and talks about 20 dB too loud about his prophecies, and his vision for the Church, and jobs he has been fired from. His face is red and his pants are pulled up too high. He’s been in the scene for years, and BRG listens to him and nods thoughtfully.

Today, redfaced guy was absent, and replaced with a guy who actually looked like Jesus, if Jesus was a semi employed Costa Mesa handyman. Long dark hair, burning eyes, scruffy clothes. Jesus Guy was discussing a number of things, mostly bad business ideas, including:

  • A gold prospecting venture to find some small mines and then sell them to others, who would work the mines (sure fire!)
  • A venture in which people would get boxing paraphernalia signed by Oscar de la Hoya and sell it
  • An oil well venture, or perhaps an oil drill bit venture, hard to say
  • His spiritual thriller, Dark Prophet

Bearded guy wanted to do the cover for Dark Prophet and they discussed this at length, along with the plot of the novel which involved demons, and priests, and the Sexual Apocalypse, and the author’s interpretation of the Unified Field Theory which physicists had so far rejected, and the business plan for the novel which involved something dodgy with the Internet and was probably just a vanity press. Bearded guy said “I will make a cover that will knock your socks off!” and Jesus guy said “Can you make a.. TIFF file?”

Bearded guy also wanted Jesus guy to use the services of red-faced yelling prophet man to “look at the spiritual ideas” in the novel. I hope I’m around if that goes down, it should be really loud and spectacular, especially since red-faced prophet man is unhappy at anyone doing anything that he hasn’t done already, and tends to bring down the entire wrath of God on people who didn’t give him a raise at the sandwich shop or didn’t invite him to parties.

The Castle, Dude.

IgnatzMous: Today, K. attempts once again to enter the Castle but gets stuck in an AM/PM full of bro dudes buying extreme sports drinks.

Odradak: In fact, Hans was now seeking K’s aid against his wrap-around sunglasses; it was as if he had been deluding himself in believing he wanted to help K., when in reality he had been wanting to discover whether, since nobody in his old surroundings had been able to help, this sudden newcomer, weho had now been mentioned by his mother, might perhaps be capable of doing so.

Stigma stigma I’ve got a stigma

For the longest time I’ve had this recurring itch on my right foot, on top, almost to the toes. Especially at night it itches, but there’s never been any red spot or anything, so I just put it down to either a sign of oncoming spinal disease or Shit Happens.

Last week it was really itching like crazy and I rubbed it to make the itching go away. Instead, a wound opened. Just like that, right in the middle of my foot. It’s been there for several days now.

I’m not sure what the medical significance is of this (the thing is healing up and still itching), but it’s obvious that I now have my first stigma, and I’m on the way to sainthood. I just need the other foot, both hands, and one in my side and BAM! a full set of stigmata.

Just so y’all can say you knew me.