Sunday in the park with goons

I often sit at Diedrich’s on a weekend afternoon reading or just drinking something and relaxing. It’s a good place to be. On Sundays, historically there have been one or more pyramid schemes being sold, probably at after-church gatherings, which is pretty good eavesdropping.

This Sunday, I sat next to Bearded Religious Guy, who is a regular. He’s usually with a younger man who is thoroughly insane and talks about 20 dB too loud about his prophecies, and his vision for the Church, and jobs he has been fired from. His face is red and his pants are pulled up too high. He’s been in the scene for years, and BRG listens to him and nods thoughtfully.

Today, redfaced guy was absent, and replaced with a guy who actually looked like Jesus, if Jesus was a semi employed Costa Mesa handyman. Long dark hair, burning eyes, scruffy clothes. Jesus Guy was discussing a number of things, mostly bad business ideas, including:

  • A gold prospecting venture to find some small mines and then sell them to others, who would work the mines (sure fire!)
  • A venture in which people would get boxing paraphernalia signed by Oscar de la Hoya and sell it
  • An oil well venture, or perhaps an oil drill bit venture, hard to say
  • His spiritual thriller, Dark Prophet

Bearded guy wanted to do the cover for Dark Prophet and they discussed this at length, along with the plot of the novel which involved demons, and priests, and the Sexual Apocalypse, and the author’s interpretation of the Unified Field Theory which physicists had so far rejected, and the business plan for the novel which involved something dodgy with the Internet and was probably just a vanity press. Bearded guy said “I will make a cover that will knock your socks off!” and Jesus guy said “Can you make a.. TIFF file?”

Bearded guy also wanted Jesus guy to use the services of red-faced yelling prophet man to “look at the spiritual ideas” in the novel. I hope I’m around if that goes down, it should be really loud and spectacular, especially since red-faced prophet man is unhappy at anyone doing anything that he hasn’t done already, and tends to bring down the entire wrath of God on people who didn’t give him a raise at the sandwich shop or didn’t invite him to parties.

9 thoughts on “Sunday in the park with goons

  1. hook me up w jesus guy for business venture
    i’ve got a videotape of Oscar de la Hoya walking in a hotel parking lot and flashing his new Olympic gold medal.–mza.

    1. ok, now, wait.
      you and both tell stories about hanging out at diedrich’s.
      and yet the user info says one of you lives in texas, and the other in california.
      i smell a conspiracy, possibly involving wormhole technology. you’d best let me in on it or i’m going public.

      1. the coffee hole
        Diedrich Coffee runs coffeehouses. I hang out at the first one they ever had, which is in Costa Mesa, CA. My friends and I hang out there enough that we made a website referring to it.
        They are a big chain in my county, and smaller elsewhere. They want to be starbucks but it ain’t happening.

      2. Let’s not be hasty here
        My Diedrich’s stories suck in comparison. I think it’s because we have less crazy people, or maybe because I treat Diedrich’s as a launching-board to other activities, largely ignoring the people there unless I came up to do a crossword puzzle with a few friends, or talk with my buddies that work there, or sit around and try to decide what to do next. Also, I hardly ever drink anything there — Misha was actually surprised when I wanted a chai the other day.
        Costa Mesa may have the first Diedrich’s ever, but does it have this?
        Arr, I have a hook too!

      3. It’s in the water!
        Our Diedrich’s just draws them in to annoy us. Not that any of us are exactly normal, but there is a high population of barely functional insane people that are regulars, plus a transient cast of not-functional insane people.
        Once upon a time, I got an acoustic 12-string for my birthday. I took it to Diedrich’s to show it off. No one was there, and no one was in the courtyard either, so I just started playing it. A fucked-up transient with mangled fingers who I’d never seen before (or since) sat down at my table and started singing along. He had a good voice! We jammed for about half an hour, he hit me up for beer money (I declined – I think this guy had had more than enough enablers in his lifetime…), and I bailed.
        If you go to this Diedrichs with any regularity, you can expect several such incidents EVERY YEAR.

  2. “..especially since red-faced prophet man is unhappy at anyone doing anything that he hasn’t done already, and tends to bring down the entire wrath of God on people who didn’t give him a raise at the sandwich shop or didn’t invite him to parties.”
    classic. thanks for the laugh šŸ™‚

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