I think I need to find Misogyny for Dummies or something to bone up on how to be a proper bachelor. I’m too much of a softy and need some tips on how to fit into this role, since I’m pretty much stuck with it. Since I’m against suicide on principle but dislike pain, I need to find a way to deal with my future. As a 39-year-old virgin who has been rejected by every woman he ever approached, I am aware that my chances of sexual success are minimal enough to be considered zero. An anesthetic lifestyle with extensive coping mechanisms will be required.

Since one of my major problems is excessive empathy and emotional attachment to people who don’t really like me that much, this is going to be a challenge.

The best way of getting through the next 30-40 years would be, I originally though, massive amounts of alcohol, but my stomach won’t really tolerate that. I really don’t need the legal problems that go with other drugs, either.

The life of the glutton gastronome is appealing but would cause such serious medical problems for me that the risk/benefit there is pretty rotten also. I can’t see that losing limbs, eyesight, etc. would really be a good tradeoff.

I considered becoming a religious fanatic, which I’d be pretty good at, but I can’t stand the other religious fanatics.

So if anyone has tips on how to be a properly anesthetized bitter aging woman-hater, please speak up.

I’ve had it with being the understanding friend, the avuncular companion, the pathetic geek in the corner, or the spare guy who’s always there between boyfriends. Those roles are all just too painful. Please help me find a new stereotype.

Hugs,

Substitute

Hollywood hunks Ben Affleck and Christian Slater’s antics at a Canadian strip club last summer are reportedly being made into a new movie.

How do the Grits Taste Exam

Duhhhhhhh.

Refuctoring (n): An iterative process in which software is developed through multiple cycles and gets worse and worse and worse.

A number of people appear to have independently discovered this word.

Metafilter had this gem, about that MAGAZINE BIBLE THING, this time with videos illustrating the problem:

“The Bible is so big and freaky looking”
“Too much information”
“It’s like Shakespeare or something”

whereas this new format:

“I’d carry this magazine around!”
“It has beauty tips. It’s good to look beautiful.”

You know, if you reduced the Koran to a fashion magazine you’d be.. dead.

When traveling in Mexico, please be careful of FLYING HUMANOID ENTITIES. Thank you.

The rest of this guy’s site is thoroughly insane also, although unfortunately a lot of it is scary holocaust denial crap. I do appreciate the flying humanoid attacks though.

nickjb found this from my Passion spam link.

As usual, I’m lost in my imagination dreaming up the meetings they had approving this thing.

The Spamming of the Christ

springheel_jack is once again my hero for this brisket.

You’re all on my list here one way or another and I’m not sure which of you reads which other of you, but:

nickjb and rroseselavyoui : For love of surreal film and dark, obscure art, desire to experience and participate in same, and enthusiasm for the creative life. Also, libraries!

genericus and jtemperance : Shared enjoyment of dissonant music and an eclectic appreciation of a lot of different kinds of noise!

bruisedhips and turnip : Two talented, smart, sarcastic women who should read each other and conspire with each other against the rest of us. Lots of art, swearing, and cahoots might well occur.

vegemitelover and predicate : people who think, discuss, and make jokes about things that matter like software, love, and God

xtreme_pr0k and fg : EXTREME CLIMBER DUDES!!! (also geeks)

There are probably others.