I think I need to find Misogyny for Dummies or something to bone up on how to be a proper bachelor. I’m too much of a softy and need some tips on how to fit into this role, since I’m pretty much stuck with it. Since I’m against suicide on principle but dislike pain, I need to find a way to deal with my future. As a 39-year-old virgin who has been rejected by every woman he ever approached, I am aware that my chances of sexual success are minimal enough to be considered zero. An anesthetic lifestyle with extensive coping mechanisms will be required.

Since one of my major problems is excessive empathy and emotional attachment to people who don’t really like me that much, this is going to be a challenge.

The best way of getting through the next 30-40 years would be, I originally though, massive amounts of alcohol, but my stomach won’t really tolerate that. I really don’t need the legal problems that go with other drugs, either.

The life of the glutton gastronome is appealing but would cause such serious medical problems for me that the risk/benefit there is pretty rotten also. I can’t see that losing limbs, eyesight, etc. would really be a good tradeoff.

I considered becoming a religious fanatic, which I’d be pretty good at, but I can’t stand the other religious fanatics.

So if anyone has tips on how to be a properly anesthetized bitter aging woman-hater, please speak up.

I’ve had it with being the understanding friend, the avuncular companion, the pathetic geek in the corner, or the spare guy who’s always there between boyfriends. Those roles are all just too painful. Please help me find a new stereotype.



13 thoughts on “confirmed.

  1. the new Conrad
    Perhaps you could go for the extremely well read, intelligent, insightful, funny guy who pretty much everyone goes to with their questions?
    Oh but, that’s already you.
    Are you really willing to embitter yourself to the degree it would take to become who you think everyone has already made you out to be?
    I know you are in pain my friend. believe it or not but I am familiar with pain. That really deep kind that seeps into your soul and makes you go mad.
    When I feel this way I read the book of Job or the story of the cruifixion. Two guys who didn’t deserve what they got but somehow found a way to get through it to the other side without becoming bitter.
    What you want my friend, is to be truly content with your lot. It is not easy in this world that screams to you about what you don’t have and how you really need it to be happy.
    Forget about Happiness Conrad, it changes with the wind. It’s not really real anyway.

    1. Re: the new Conrad
      So.. I’m supposed to be quiet and smile and pretend it’s okay?
      And how is it caving into the World’s temptation to want something more than misery?
      I know you’re trying to be helpful, but what I hear is “be quiet and suck it up”.

      1. Re: the new Conrad
        No you are not supposed to “be quiet and pretend everything is okay”
        I am talking about being content.
        I am not talking about “caving into the Worlds temptation to want something more than misery”
        I am saying that the world’s definition of misery may not be accurate as well as the world definition for happiness.
        How did you get “be quiet and suck it up” from what I said?
        Conrad, I am simply saying that you may want to consider that you are looking in the wrong place for your answers.
        when I am cooking and I make something that doesn’t turn out the way I wanted it to,
        I start over.
        You are right when you say that I don’t comment on many of your posts.
        You say that when I don’t comment it makes you feel like I am telling you to just shut up, that I don’t want to hear it.
        Well, it would seems that that is what happens when I do comment, so where does that leave me? Am I a bad friend? ( I am really asking, no sarcasm here)
        Do you really think that I am telling you to shut up? Me? why would you think that? Have I personally, ever given you good cause to believe that I would be so heartless?

      2. Re: the new Conrad
        I’ve started over a few times. I’m pushing 40. I’ve had zero success. The entire dinner party has gone home and I’m in the kitchen burning the eggs still.
        You’re not a bad friend at all, don’t be silly. I just think you don’t get it.
        I think I know my misery from my happiness. Being totally alone and rejected does not qualify as “happiness”, nor does having a huge part of life that everyone needs totally unavailable.
        Where should I be looking? Trappist monastery? I don’t think so.
        Why is everyone so eager to tell me I don’t need what they already have?

      3. Re: the new Conrad
        I am glad you think I am a good friend. That means so much to me. Especially from you.
        One question:
        What makes you think I already have it?
        You are just looking on the outside. that is all you can see in me just like that is all I can see in you.
        How is what you are doing different from what I am doing?

      4. Re: the new Conrad
        I mean that you have a husband. I get a lot of people who are married or attached or who have had many relationships telling me that I shouldn’t be so upset that I’ve never had anyone, or that I shouldn’t want it that much. When I’ve never had anything or anyone, ever, this doesn’t go down so well.

      5. Re: the new Conrad
        Sorry it took so long to respond.
        Would you believe, they actually wanted me to work today? 😉
        anyway, I totally understand where you are coming from there. And I really don’t want to be that person who trivializes what your are going through.
        It’s just that I have been where you are. I know you may not believe me, and there is no other way for me to convince you other than to just state it and hope that you give me the benefit of the doubt and realize that you don’t know everything about my past.
        Also remember, as I’m sure you do, that by your own admission, you have never been in my place. Please don’t assume that when I try to tell you that being where I am can be just as painful, in a different way, than being where you are.
        Why do you think there are so many broken hearted relationships in the world?
        I love pbd with all my heart but it is by the grace of God that we are still together, as I am sure he will testify to.
        He has hurt me far more than I have ever been hurt before and I have hurt him far more than he has ever been hurt.
        Rejection is hard though.
        I don’t like to spill all my hardships out to you because I don’t want you to think that I am trying to make your pain seem insignificant. It really isn’t. I truly wish I could make it go away.

  2. Just be you.
    Why not just focus on those things that you are really into. I think a lot of what makes people attractive to others is when they are serious about their passions. As a completely outside observer, I have been impressed with your insight as well as your wit. Women love witty guys.

      1. I do. But I am a guy. And quite geographically undesirable.
        We should meet up for beverages one of these days when I head south.

  3. Conrad rocks
    I adore you, and if you weren’t in the “friend” category I would date you in a heart beat. However, the last thing you need is the kind of trouble I am, but I have this very attractive, intelligent sister…….. Oh yeah, you don’t like being set up. Well, what now???

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