I’m feeling incompetent. I have tasks to do for work that feel beyond me, and I’ve been unable to handle simple household tasks without causing pratfalls and crashes worthy of Blake Edwards.
Speaking of which, I watched most of a Steven Seagal flick at work yesterday and I have to say the man is the sleeper comic genius of his time. He’s making Pink Panther movies without realizing it. Bravo, auteur naif!
I think I’ll have lasagne for dinner tonight. What do you think?
Today I write the invocation that opens my epic. Today I stretch the canvas for the first of my landscapes. Today I turn the first pot. Today I bang the chisel into the virgin marble as I start the first of my four hundred caryatids. Today, I pen the overture to my opera.
Today I write a hundred first lines to a hundred novels.
Tomorrow will be the same.
Let’s fight terrism! We’ll do this by watching people through binoculars from across the street, harassing kebab vendors, and getting our Middle Eastern politics backwards. Also, running around in circles whacking each other with our batons by accident.
Look guys, just go back to keeping the whores away from Disneyland, okay?
Also, keeping the Mexican out of the City Council.
(bugmenot.com if you can’t get into the LA Times)
Q: How is HTML produced in your organization?
A: Our people edit HTML with a Cummins turbodiesel engine which generates 500 ft/lbs of torque, connected to a purpose-built compressor that reduces wood pulp to an iron-hard substance that is then fired in chunks by a chain gun at 1900 rounds per second and 5000 feet per second muzzle velocity directly at the sun.
The 2.5 mile wide mushroom cloud and the crater large enough to be seen from a satellite, in a missile testing range area, is just a forest fire. Everything is cool.
Also in the news: Lime jello is a room temperature semiconductor. The game we know now as “Twister” was designed as a fitness regimen for the Swiss military. And Van Halen’s former lead singer, David Lee Roth, suffers from a rare thyroid disease which causes him to be female for between 1 and 4 days each year.
DON’T FORGET TO PACK YOUR WIFE..
POL POT
http://www.livejournal.com/users/trinnit/29387.html
Almost as good as CNN’s caption feed during the last couple of events in the war on terrism.
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