My 401(k): Personal Rate of Return from 01/01/2005 to 04/26/2005 is -7.1%

This is going to be the best economic collapse EVER!

http://1000000milesaway.blogspot.com/2005/04/no-more-hot-dogs.html

Visiting http://www.airbus.com/ just now to check out their new neato 800+ passenger super giganto PLANE OF THE FUTURE, I get:

Server Error in ‘/A380’ Application.
Server Too Busy
Description: An unhandled exception occurred during the execution of the current web request. Please review the stack trace for more information about the error and where it originated in the code.

Exception Details: System.Web.HttpException: Server Too Busy

Source Error:

An unhandled exception was generated during the execution of the current web request. Information regarding the origin and location of the exception can be identified using the exception stack trace below.

Stack Trace:

[HttpException (0x80004005): Server Too Busy]
System.Web.HttpRuntime.RejectRequestInternal(HttpWorkerRequest wr) +148

Version Information: Microsoft .NET Framework Version:1.1.4322.2032; ASP.NET Version:1.1.4322.2032

The airport has been closed for 2.5 hours and a jet just buzzed my house. Fear.

I wish someone would put up with me. Unlikely, though.

Cat’s still in the hospital. Not eating.

I’d say I’ve outlived my usefulness, but that would imply there’d been some.

I’m without consequences.

I should really just shut up. I can’t, though.

From http://www.germandeli.com/4001686333105.html via Mimi Smartypants:

Warning: These containers are extremely fragile and it’s possible that the tubs will crack during shipping. Some tubs appear to contain darker Smurfs; some contain lighter Smurfs. They arrive in sealed cases from the Haribo Factory this way and we cannot say why there is a difference in color tones. We also cannot control the firmness of the Smurfs from tub to tub. Order at your own risk. We are not able to reimburse for damaged containers, color tone variations, or Smurf texture.

Please remember, Smurfs are a “Special Order” item and extremely difficult to keep stocked. We provide them as a special consideration for the large number of customers who have requested them. If any of the abovementioned issues are of concern for you, please do not order them. To keep these Smurfs at their freshest, repackage them in a freezer bag or other air tight container. Smurfs are offered for “free sampling” in our Texas Showroom. We store them in an air tight container for our walk-in customers.

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Two-year-old (almost three!) me is fighting the power at Mariners Cooperative Preschool. The college on my t-shirt is a year younger than I am.

I attended Woodland Elementary School in Costa Mesa, California from 1970 to 1976. I’m sure I learned a lot of math, vocabulary, and other important skills, but my memories are mostly about food, other kids, and special events. The Sloppy Joes were terrible, the little wooden spoon often broke on the hard ice cream, and one time there was a really big fight and a kid had a seizure. That kind of thing.

On some kind of schedule, probably monthly, we were all marched to the auditorium to sing together. Each of us received a damp ditto’d set of song lyrics. The music teacher sat at her piano and played intros to each song, which we then belted out. Songs I remember are:

• It’s a Grand Old Flag
• San Francisco
• Aura Lee
• This Land is Your Land
• America the Beautiful
• Marching to Pretoria
• The Battle Hymn of the Republic
• Bingo
• Oh Susanna
• Swanee River
• Michael Row the Boat Ashore

Of course we didn’t sing the communist parts of This Land is Your Land. Pretoria has now been renamed Tshname because the current government in South Africa would prefer not to use all those old colonial names, thanks. I always wondered what the song meant, because they didn’t teach us about the Boer War in elementary school. However, one thing remains true:

There was a man who had a dog
And Bingo was his name-o
B-I-N-G-O
B-I-N-G-O
B-I-N-G-O
And Bingo was his name-o!

I wish this thing had bad music that I hated on it, so that I didn’t have to feel like one of those people for liking it all.

My best friend was supposed to shoot a hated world political leader but was treacherously poisoned just as he was setting up the shot. I fled with his rifle, a camo green bolt action .270 magnum. The target’s henchmen, dressed as policemen, pursued me across a suspension bridge. I was walking backwards on the cables, shooting down the fake cops one by one. I hoped that if I shot enough of them they’d give it up like the cops in THX 1138. I had another 20 rounds in my hoodie pocket and I hoped that would be enough.