Category: Uncategorized

I think I’ll call you “appetite”.

  1. Baristas, coffee obsessives and others may enjoy Ursi’s links to Latte Art today.
  2. I expect weird stuff to happen in Southern California, but not an official Catholic heresy trial in San Bernardino. (Bugmenot if you get registration honk)
  3. From these illustrations it would appear that 17th century eye doctors would put donuts on your eyes.
  4. Beware of fraudulent flu cures.
  5. I do not claim to understand why the World’s Fastest Clown would be an effective anti-drug program for kids. (obvious coulrophobia warning for miss_education and others)
  6. Here are some useful cover sheets for the TPS reports at your office (PDF). Those of you who work with actual secret information should probably not use them. Thanks, ‘Vark!!
  7. I wonder if spacemummy has done any Mexican wrestling movies?

America, fuck yeah!

well im 18, i love to party and go crazy; I hate people who belong to cliques, I need sex, I love sex, etc….YEAH UM but i dont think I’m a sexaholic!!! I work at Polly’s Pies in Orange so come visit me and get some fuckin PIE!!! I wanna be an exotic dancer…AKA STRIPPER!!!! friends get free lap dances! or a bartender. I love my body and everything about it, especially my 36DD breasts. Im an outgoing red-head who loves to party, so watch out!! !……………………………………………..well thats the old me, ive done alotta stupid shit in my life, hurt the one i love the most and had to wait for my mothr while she did time. ive learned alot over the last few months embrace relationships, dont push them away. try not to lie, it hurts you worse that ne1 else and dont sleep around evryone finds out, cheating is NEVER worth it. i am still a sexaholic, or so i do very much believe. Ihave issues but if you care about me ull wanna help not shy away. so yeah…dont be afraid to leave me a message, comment wutevr..latr u crazy people who love to drive me into insanity ALSO IM NOT LOOKING TO MEET NEW PEOPLE ON MYSPACE IM HERE FOR MY FRIENDS..SO DONT BOTHER THANKYOU AND YES I KNOW IM BEAUTIFUL AND MY TITS R REAL-SO QUIT FUKNG ASKING=EVERYONE!

Kicks just keep gettin’ harder to find

  1. If you think diesels aren’t fast enough, try taking on the new Audi R10 race car. The engine itself is something of a marvel.
  2. In Mexico there is a more…. relaxed attitude towards using people as circus freaks for humorous purpose. Hence, Mexican Midget Rodeo. Hence, one of the performers having a very, very bad day with a bull. At least he wasn’t also lit on fire.
  3. mendel points me to Regret The Errors 2005 roundup of corrections, including a magnificent Error of the Year. I’m reminded of the time our local rag broke the iron rule: do not repeat the error in the caption. One morning a correction said: “In Tuesday’s issue, there was an incorrect photo caption. The caption that should have read “Mrs. Buffy Buffington III and her daughter, Tiffany, at the Babes in Toyland Gala for Pediatric AIDS at the Marriott.” Instead, it read “CRACK BABIES.”
  4. Say hello to our new Berlin San Diego Wall, which will fuck the environment hard and not keep anyone out. As Ronald Reagan once said, Mr. President, tear down that wall.

Cultural notes from all over

Observations from tonight:

People going to an office Christmas party are well-dressed (but not flashy), carry one present each, and look incredibly nervous. I saw about 30 of them tonight. They were being jovial at each other with dead empty dread in their eyes.

The satellite-provided music at the brewpub tonight was eerily perfect for someone of my age and background. It was the greatest hits of college radio from 1984 to 1987. What kind of radio station plays Prefab Sprout’s “Appetite” and Shriekback’s “Everything that Rises must Converge” in the same set in 2005?

At the chain bookstore, where I did not buy a thing, they of course had the whole front of the place devoted to Christmas books. One chunk of bookshelf was entirely given over to… wait for it… Christmas Mysteries. What the FUCK? I’m not sure how things are in your family, but around here if someone got murdered Christmas week we’d call the whole thing off, even if a sharp-eyed local Christian ladies’ sewing club solved the whole thing by the morning of the 24th. Take the tinsel down so we can just stare blankly into space, shaking. We’ll make it up to the kids somehow.

One of the clerks was hugely overweight, so much so that he puffed a bit and walked with the gait of a man whose knees are badly damaged. He had to help a young couple who looked like Vanguard-bots and who were very upset that they couldn’t find some Christian book about the essence of love.

I was gazing at the sad array of self-help books, most of which have titles in the form Stop ________! or _______ no more!, where the blank can be filled in with your unwanted behavior or emotion of choice: Smoking, Loving Too Much, Checking Things Over And Over, Leaving The House Without Pants, Putting Beans In Your Nose, etc. They were arranged in sections: General Self-Help, Addiction & Recovery, Dating. Then I saw a section labeled “Oversize”. Hmm. Odd euphemism for fat people. Oh, maybe it was for people who were “Big ‘n’ Tall” and included the towering as well as the obese? Oh, DOH! It was just the oversize books. Time to go home, substitute. Brain no work good.