- Silver Spoon Considered Harmful.
- Massive Fandom Wank containing the phrase “fandom unity luncheon” somewhere in it. Jesus H. Christ.
- Abstain from sex; win fries.
- List of unusual deaths (Wikipedia).
- I refuse to believe that smllr is a real service. Only John Waters can do Smell-O-Vision anyway.
- Doom awaits kitchen gadget lovers: Sur La Table is having a big sale.
- How does this violinist make weird subharmonic noises?
Category: Uncategorized
ARR! Me coasters not of paper and not being table linen!
List of Disney trademark registrations for the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie, from Deadline Hollywood via Waxy:
Best Garlic Press Ever Made
The Rösle Garlic Press (Amazon link)
It reliably crushes even two cloves at once. You don’t have to keep cleaning it as you use it. And when you’re done, you swing out the grate and put it under the tap and rinse it off, done. None of that “is all the garlic out yet?” stuff, and it doesn’t have one of those plastic “cleaner” thingies that will promptly get lost. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.
Nail the license key to the mast
From a tattered diary page found floating on the mucilaginous ooze of the Salton Sea, June 28 2006:
Day 3 of the Windows XP install. Aft #3 torpedo tube is flooded. Captain refusing to leave his quarters. Lt. Zip has not returned from installing the Com+ Deep Fryer and Full-Service Hapax Legomenon (Disabled) (Automatic) (Brazilian). I know that I shall never see my true love or my dear parents again. A watery grave awaits.
MAIN SCREEN DOOR TURN ON
How are you gentlemen? Someone set up us the Midwestern-style summer. We are on the way to destruction.
Anchors aweigh
My father served in the U.S. Navy in the Second World War. For most of the war he was in the Pacific, serving as the radio officer and then the exec of a tanker. In general he had a “good” war; no fighting and a meal and a place to sleep.
One day the ship was to anchor in a bay on a Philippine island. My dad was on the bridge. They brought the ship to the appropriate place and the crew on deck dropped anchor, under the instruction of the deck officer, who was a new Lieutenant JG.
Ship anchors are big, and so are their chains. The anchor had to go down quite a long way in this case because the bay was deep. Everyone stood well clear as first the anchor and then a very thick chain (about two feet thick) roared through the port on the deck while the anchor hurtled toward the bottom.
Then it stuck. A tremendous amount of swearing ensued. With the anchor part way down, the people on the bridge had to keep the ship roughly in place with the engines at almost zero power, while the people on the deck tried to figure out how to unhook the anchor chain. One of the links had flopped crosswise and was being held in place by the anchor’s huge weight. What to do?
The sailors stood around arguing about the best way to handle this; it didn’t happen often. Finally our young lieutenant got tired of all this meat-headed yelling and decided to show his mettle by fixing the thing simply and quickly. He walked up and kicked the stuck chain-link loose.
With a tremendous bang and roar the link popped loose and rushed into the depths, and once again the chain was speeding through the port and they were on their way to anchoring. But where was the Lieutenant? They looked overboard, and around, and up and down. He’d just disappeared!
But my dad, from above, had seen what happened too fast for the sailors to see. The lieutenant had caught his foot in the chain link and been forced at incredible speed and pressure through a small hole on his way to the bottom of the sea.
That’s the story my dad told about safety with tools when I was growing up.
No points of reference, no rotary connection, and certainly no abcdegdfsgvsafdagfdsfdfgfdgggggggdssd
Myspace
Their “friends” setup is bizarrely broken. You can’t see anything but photo and their chosen “display name,” so you don’t know who some people are after a few months when they change their pic to Woody Woodpecker and start calling themselves Antonin Artaud.
I find myself thinking “Who is Potatoes O’Brien?” or “Not only is this woman not Audrey Hepburn, but I don’t know anyone who lives in Macon, Georgia. WTF?”
Then it gets funnier with email. Today I forwarded something and saw how that works; you get the list of display names from which to choose. Two of my friends chose the same one, it being their first name. So I didn’t know whether I was forwarding to turnip or salome_st_john. Fortunately they have similar senses of humor so I just sent it to both.
It’s strange how many recently-built human artifacts are like ancient fucked-up things that Just Somehow Happened.
CASTLE ABSURDO
You are walking through a crumbling corridor. Bones are scattered in the shape of okonomiyaki…
Mancha!
I went up to Lake Elsinore and hung out with Bob for a few hours today. Took a lot of pictures, had good conversation. He’s not going to be around a lot longer, it seems. If anyone wants to get hold of him I have his number.
I’ll go through the whole story later when I’m less blown out. It was 103 F up there. For now, here’s a picture of Stain, the Australian Blue Heeler cattle dog:
Be My Blog 